Straight to Gay the Massage Way

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We’ve always gotten along well but, I can’t say we were ever close. Well, at least not until recently. He's a gym trainer and sports freak How It First Happened Dave has clearly taken his training and gone one step beyond, unencumbered quite frankly by the subliminal hangups most straight massage therapists have about the male body." Ideally, you'll both blame it on the booze, and once it's talked about and in the open you'll both be able to find a way to move past it. Hopefully he will also be silent about it when it comes to his girlfriend, since she's a wildcard in all of this. At first there was an awkward silence. But then, after taking a super deep toke, Mike replied, “Cool man but I’m covering my eyes.”

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I know that this might sound harsh, maybe even too harsh. But really, I know exactly what you're feeling. I don't know many gay men (myself included) who hasn't developed a crush or had feelings for a straight guy - including straight friends. It happens all too frequently, but there is just one important thing to remember... However the next morning, when I made note of the fact that we had done something, he claimed to not remember anything. The only thing he recalled is having a great dream about a hot time with a girl. He kept this up for a while, and I dropped it. A couple months later he came to me and asked me if we had done anything that night. I assured him we did, and he once again stated he truly did not know. We are still in one another's circles, however we are not as close as we once were. Dave, in addition to being a talented chef, also gives what is possibly one of the best massages on the face of the planet! Last weekend my straight friend and I decided to invite some people over and have a cookout at his house. Everything went great at first, and we all were having a good time. Eventually everyone left except for me, him, and his girlfriend. His girlfriend went upstairs to bed, and he and I stayed downstairs and continued drinking. We are both partial to whiskey, and man was it going down easy that night. Before long we found ourselves pretty hammered.We both ended up getting totally wasted, to the point where I can't remember big parts of the night. All I know is that some stuff happened that really shouldn't have happened. And while the “release” or “happy ending” is quite common in certain corners of the massage world (Asian parlors are particularly famous for it), one doesn’t generally expect it at an upscale Manhattan establishment. Perhaps, as massage therapy goes mainstream, it’s simply harder for the agencies charged with governing its practices to keep a watchful eye. If you notice that he's doing something like that, and you see your friendship slowly circling around in the toilet - about to be flushed, it might be time to have a blunt and honest conversation about what happened. This is pretty much a last resort in a desperate hope to repair things. Communicate. Something uncomfortable? Let the massage therapist know. They’ll usually ask at the beginning what kind of pressure you want; if you don’t know, tell them that, then be sure to communicate whether you like what they’re doing or not. In this type of setting, it’s not at all personal. We recommend that you schedule your massage appointment at least 48 hours in advance; Same day appointments are usually not possible.

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Forgive yourself for what happened. There is nothing you can do to change it, and there is no point in living in regret. Take a vow to do what you must to repair your friendship and ensure that it never happens again. I would love to be romantically (or even just physically) involved with this guy, but our friendship has to come before that. I value our friendship too much to let anything else get in the way. The part of me that is attracted to this guy wants to believe that there’s more to the story than just a drunken encounter that he doesn’t even remember. The part of me that values our friendship more than anything is telling me that I’m treading on thin ice, and any wrong move could send the friendship crashing down. A few years later, in Chicago for a design-industry conference, I saw that the fitness center in my hotel offered massage services. I could charge one to my bill and add it to my expense account. Great. I called for an appointment. The only time that worked was 6 a.m., two mornings later. “Too damn early,” I said, then reconsidered. “I’ll take it.” When this happened to me, I pretended not to remember anything because I knew the situation would be uncomfortable for my straight friend. In other words, I was trying to give him an escape route by pretending that I didn’t remember anything about that night (plausible deniability, if you will). If he thought that I didn’t remember anything about that night, then he could say the same thing and never have to mention it again. Hopefully you've learned what can happen when you mix alcohol with higher doses of certain medications, and hopefully you'll take steps to prevent things like this from happening in the future.

I think cheating is wrong. I also believe that people make mistakes and can learn from those mistakes. It seems probable that your girlfriend will not find out about this incident unless you specifically tell her. Assuming that you've learned your lesson and are genuinely contrite, I stand by my earlier statement that I don't how telling your girlfriend can make the situation any better. Do you think she will understand that this was just a physical act that occurred in your intoxicated state and in no way reflects on your sexual preference? I’ve told you that I don’t think this makes you gay or even bi, but it’s not like you can just print off this post and show it to your girlfriend as proof. I think that most straight people have a problem understanding situations like this because they identify so strongly with being straight. So until they find themselves in a similar situation, they don’t see how it can be possible for a straight person to have a sexual experience with a person of the same sex and not be gay or at least bisexual. This is why you’re having such a hard time dealing with the whole experience, and it’s very likely that your girlfriend would have a problem with it for the same reasons. I hope that you are able to come to terms with this situation, realize why it happened, and realize that it doesn’t change anything about you or your orientation. I think it would be much harder for your girlfriend to come to terms with the situation because she’s not the one it happened to. I returned to my friend's house last night. This was the first time I'd seen him since the incident last week. I had been mentally preparing myself for a few days leading up to this visit, trying to put that incident out of my mind and act like this was just any other visit. That's easier said than done. What marked the beginning of the end of our friendship? Was it the sexual encounter? Was it the confrontation (no more plausible deniability on his part)? Was it the fact that I told Doug? Was Doug really the "glue" of our friendship, and when he left Jeff and I had nothing much in common? I have no idea how long this whole quarantine thing will last. At the time of this post, it seems like this could go on for many weeks, perhaps into summer.

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If the ideal doesn't happen, and you have to have a serious talk with him.. ugh. Definitely, definitely, don't take all the blame (or any of the blame - it's better if he accepts it all on himself, otherwise he might blame you completely to avoid feeling like his sexuality has been questioned). This is definitely a situation that is more traumatic for him than for you, and has far greater complications. I probably wouldn’t mention this to your girlfriend. Others will disagree with me on this advice, but I just don’t see how telling her can make the situation any better; it can certainly make the situation worse. She likely will not understand how or why this could’ve happened (just like you are unable to understand how or why it happened). She will have more questions than you’ll have answers for, and your answers may not be to her satisfaction. I really think it’s best to not bring this up to her. They are straight. They are not interested in a romantic relationship with you; if they were they'd come out as bisexual or gay. They have not, therefore there is no hope for a relationship with them. You're only setting yourself up for failure, heartbreak, and the loss of a friend. Your friend likely regrets that this situation took place just as much as you do. He probably knows that you remember some of what happened that night, and he’s probably worried about your friendship just as much as you are. Try to act normal around him, and remember how important your friendship is. The more you act normal around him (even if it feels weird on the inside), the more it will genuinely start to feel normal again. This will take time, but I promise that it’s worth it for the sake of your friendship. There are only 3 reasons I can think of for you to talk about this with him. Otherwise, just keep quiet.The good news is I don’t have feelings for him. Well, at least I don’t think I do. Time will tell, I guess. Could a straight guy get drunk enough to fool around with another guy just because it “felt good”, or is it more likely that he has some gay/bi/curious feelings that perhaps he’s been repressing?