Finding Closure: Who can move forward without it: 1

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What happens if the other person can’t give you closure? At that point, you have to accept that you can’t control the uncontrollable. (That includes others’ actions.) The core of this mindset is to let go of what you cannot change. Whether the other person is willing to hash it all out, or whether they are tight-lipped about it all, you ultimately need to give yourself closure. Below are some tips for embarking on the process. Before reaching the final line, however, he had already understood that he would never leave that room, for it was foreseen that the city of mirrors (or mirages) would be wiped out by the wind and exiled from the memory of men at the precise moment when Aureliano Babilonia would finish deciphering the parchments, and that everything written on them was unrepeatable since time immemorial and forever more, because races condemned to one hundred years of solitude did not have a second opportunity on earth. The results of the study conducted on the victims and offenders who participated in RESTORE were very encouraging as it relates to the completion of the offender reparation plans and victim satisfaction with the program. Koss (2014) found that about 66% of felony offenders and 91% of misdemeanor offenders completed the reparation plan drafted during the program. That is incredibly successful considering that sexual assaults cases handled through traditional adjudication resulted in 75% being closed without any consequences to the offender. Also critical to note is that 70% of the victims felt justice was done and 84% of the victims would recommend RESTORE to others (Koss, 2014). So what role does guilt and shame play in the RESTORE program? Simpson, D. (2015). William David Ross. In Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Retrieved from http://www.iep.utm.edu Mitchell, D. (2013). Some shooting victims attend Aurora theater reopening event. Fox News. Retrieved from http://www.kdvr.com/2013/01/17/some-shooting-victims-attend-Aurora-theater-reopening-event/

Grief counselors know and understand what you need to help you get through the toughest times in your grief. You’ll be able to find some low-cost or even free grief counseling available through the many resources online. Finding Closure After the Death of a Loved One Tewksbury, R. (2006). Sex offender registries as a tool for public safety: Views from registered offenders. Western Criminology Review, 7(1), 1-8. Making public notifications about sex offenders in a specific area or neighborhood is a blatant example of public exposure and undoubtedly creates feelings of shame for the offender. Prescott’s results then support the hypothesis that using guilt, but not shame, has potential to reduce recidivism. This conclusion is also strongly supported by labeling theory which posits that being labeled a deviant (shaming) will increase the chance for recidivism; 94% of registered sex offenders fear that they will be devalued or discriminated against (Mingus & Burchfield, 2012). Reframe the situation. Try to look at the outcome in a positive light. This may take time, but altering your way of thinking can help you channel your emotions. Maybe this ending is for the best and it will lead to a wonderful beginning. I believe in the ‘everything happens for a reason’ mantra: Usually, when a certain door is closed, it’s closed because it should be. Echoing the words of freelance writer Lynette Olson, “love is never really lost, simply adjusted or misplaced. Don’t let go of love, just redirect it. You might face painful losses, but grow from them.”Show empathy, even if it is hard work, and you will eventually learn not to feel like life is as stressful as recess in school for a child on the autistic spectrum. CBS Local. (2015). Arapahoe county DA: ‘Jurors did a hell of a job’. CBS Denver News. Retrieved from http://denver.cbslocal.com/2015/08/07/arapahoe-county-DA-jurors-did-a-hell-of-a-job/ However, I thought that there were a couple of interesting points in the novel – mainly how Caitlin thinks about the world around her. She capitalises the concepts that she’s trying to learn – including Minding Your Manners, and Looking At The Person. This really helped me to understand her way of seeing the world, and I thought it was done quite well. Finally, what I did not realise is that the central conflict – the death of Caitlin’s brother, Devon – was based upon the Virginia Tech mass school shooting. I…was not expecting this. The way that Erskine drew the community together in their grief was incredibly moving. Robinson, P. (2008). Competing conceptions of modern desert: Vengeful, deontological, and empirical. Cambridge Law Journal, 67(1), 145-175. Other factors affecting closure are the relationship between the person who died and the circumstances surrounding their death. You can expect that closure will never be complete when a loved one died tragically or at a very young age. Following this type of death can be a lifelong process and one that is never totally complete. Tips for Getting Closure After a Loved One Dies

Try filling your calendar with new activities or doing things that are outside of your comfort zone. Go easy on yourself and expect that your grief will ebb and flow for the next few weeks and months. 7. Find your purpose

On the other hand, a memorial service or funeral is only the beginning of their grief for some people. It signifies the beginning of their life without their loved ones. It also represents the start of getting acquainted with their grief. 5. Try therapy Koss, M. (2014). The RESTORE program of restorative justice for sex crimes: Vision, process, and outcomes. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 29(9), 1623-1660. doi: 10.1177/0886260513511537