Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration

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This mother and daughter team coached each other as they decontaminated themselves from their internalized sexism and self-silencing habits. It was the sick and twisted way my now ex, shameless turned all his affection and approval and pandering ( for his own selfish needs to be met) toward our pubesent, at the time, daughters after he created such abuse on me, who would no longer stand for it. L. Anderson shows women how to emotionally separate from their difficult mothers without guilt and anxiety, so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. Getting advice on how to shut the door forever is what I wanted advice for, and it's not found here.

This invaluable resource empowers you to personalize your path, offering daily meditations that address common challenges like loneliness, shame, and the quest for hope. L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach, author, and blogger who makes sure adult daughters know how to create autonomy, resilience, and empowerment in their lives by helping them redefine who they are in relationship to their mothers. Sandeep had become an expert on responding to what her mother needed and being a “dutiful daughter,” but she had little idea about what she wanted for herself, beyond finishing her degree.These brave mothers and daughters recognize the harm that patriarchy, sexism, and gender inequality inflict on women, and they have decided that enough is enough. Often the reason of the conflicts with parents is their inability to see farther than their education, a huge lack of curiosity, willfully resisting learning anything new. I am the mother of four daughters, who, after 37 years divorced my abusive, patriarchy soaked and abusive husband. Although the writing is not excellent, this book offers powerful tools in navigating your relationship with your mom (or any other figure in your life that has a disproportionate influence over you.

When she showed lack of self esteem, I encouraged to get into sports and although true that I insisted she remained, when she wanted out of the team. The external takes precedence and makes the internal almost impossible to examine; self reflection goes out the window under the stress of it.

Miriam, having had a far more supportive and empowering upbringing, was able to join her daughter to find a new normal for women within their family. The book is filled with personal stories and experiences, practical tools, and journal prompts that can be used now to experience the joy of letting go. In another life, Anderson spent 20 years trying to fit her right-brained self into a left-brained career as a trade magazine journalist in the field of plastics (and if she had a dime for every time someone mentioned that line from The Graduate…). So at least the generational trauma and abuse will stop with her and not be passed down to another poor daughter or son.

I listened to it very quickly and now will go back to dig in and do the journaling and other exercises. Written in a very self-help and life coach lingo, which caused me to feel as though I was reading a long blog post. For that, and for her clear, uncompromising prose, I would suggest that every woman who has struggled with her relationship to motherhood―from any perspective―reach for Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters. Sometimes I wondered if the author herself is a narcissist because she enjoys making patronizing and offensive comments to the reader and then couching it in terms of tough love.Even aside from repeat advice and pre-kindergarten mistakes, there’s little talk and a lot of lists that any self-help or hype friend would give you. A woman who has the ability to take what happened to you in the past, and transform it into greater wisdom, depth and authentic love. Celebrate your personal strength and dedication towards recovery while practicing mindfulness through these transformative daily exercises.