Why Mummy Drinks: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author

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Hannah: It’s just so far! And he’s still my baby. Well, I know technically Edward is my baby, since he’s only four, honestly what possessed me to have another baby in my forties? Don’t answer that. Sambuca shots have a lot to answer for, as do second marriages. But Lucas is my baby too! And I know I’ve done Christmases without them when they were at their useless streak of weasel piss father’s but it’s not the same as Lucas being on the other side of the world on his own!

And even though you are leaving me all alone at the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, because you’d rather piss off with your rich boyfriend and his stupid parents, I’m still helping, I thought sulkily to myself. The characters were funny - slightly over the top but funny all the same and being a 40 something year old woman I could totally relate to the lead character in this book even down to the names she calls her husband.Gonna stay in Thaland for xmas is a beach party to go to hope your not mad theyres just loads going on I dont want to miss will save u money on flight to see u easter x If you love the blog, the odds are good you’ll love this. That said, I have to confess that I didn’t. I found the transposition of Peter, Jane and Mummy to book form a little difficult to enjoy at first as there were so many similarities to the world evoked in the blog, but then significant differences, too, and I wasn’t really interested in the story. (There’s basically a work success, an ex-boyfriend and an offbeat sister-in-law to contend with.) Ellen is more selfish than ‘Mummy’ from Peter and Jane and Mummy, Too, and more judgemental. Or perhaps it is simply the difference between reading glimpses into a life once a day and reading about a whole life over a few days: maybe ‘Mummy’/Ellen hadn’t changed at all, just my reaction to her. Funny, sweary, mostly relateable. The diary entries open with a scene familiar to those familiar with the blog: Mummy is making a list of how her life could work…then compares it with how her life really works. For parents of young children, or who remember having young children, this will likely entertain and cause nods of familiarity in equal measure. The pressure involved in try to drag the children out the door to school…the arguments you just cannot win (your child does not care about the threat of scurvy)…and the bliss of relaxing at the end of what may well feel like a very long day indeed, only to reflect that it is, in fact, only Monday – Monday! – and everything you did today will need doing again tomorrow. Maybe if I'd read this before becoming a mother I may have seriously thought of finding a contraception that liked me. Although then I just wouldn't have understood the book anyway lol. And… I might have accidentally tumble-dried your favourite cashmere jumper! What!’ he protested, as I opened my mouth to roar with fury. ‘At least I’m admitting it. It did cross my mind to just put it in your drawer and let you think you’d put on weight. And I’m being a good and kind and loving husband by trying to make Christmas magical, so you can’t be angry with me.’

If you feel that you're not one of the 'in gang' and that everyone else's lives are going much more smoothly than yours then you'll find you are not alone. Job dissatisfaction, less than perfect children, extended family problems, money difficulties...are all relatable and laughable topics that can be found in this book. And if you don't mind swearing (or acronyms for swearing usually used in text messages) then you're probably more likely to enjoy this book. TK Maxx sells skis?’ I asked doubtfully, momentarily distracted from Jane’s unexpected abandonment of me by wondering how, in my many detailed perusings of all TK Maxx’s excellent bargain goods, I could have missed the skis.And if you like the sound of ‘Why Mummy Drinks’, then you’ll be pleased to hear that a follow-up, ‘Why Mummy Swears’, will be published later this year. This year, she wants nothing more than to perfectly fig up the pudding and sit by the fire reading aloud from A Christmas Carol to a rapt, rosy-cheeked audience. But, just like all Mummy’s best-laid plans, this year’s Festive Vision is in danger of being totally derailed by her chaotic family. There’s not much chance of any action under the mistletoe, and the kids are just not playing ball. Not at Christmas! Judgy loves Christmas. He’d be furious. Opening presents is his favourite thing. And Flora is too old for kennels, and what if she dies? And Barry? Well, poor little Barry, how you can abandon Barry at Christmas?’ This book highlights some of the nightmares and of course the fun times parents can have with young children. It's told in a way you just can't help but laugh and enjoy it. It also highlights being a grown up, and that isn't always fun is it.

A T-shirt! On a morning in December!’ said Simon in outrage. ‘Imagine the heating bill. And as for sitting in your pants …’ Jane doesn’t think I’ve done anything right,’ I said sadly. ‘She called me a catastrophising control freak who always interferes. And anyway, I don’t want them to be resilient and independent at Christmas! Can’t they just do it for the rest of the year, and then at Christmas be overcome with their need for their darling mama and return to the bosom of their loving family, so we can roast chestnuts over an open fire and sing carols round the piano, and laugh and laugh and be merry?’ In the end, I suppose that's what a marriage comes down to: finding the one special person you want to annoy and be annoyed by for the rest of your life.”The plot’s a bit daft, featuring at least one completely ridiculous character, and a bit slim, too, but this is a diary and the fun is found in the details and the nods of recognition for mums caught up in a similar life stage. Final thoughts Netmums (27 November 2017). "Gill Sims: My battle with postnatal depression". Netmums . Retrieved 13 June 2019. Palazzo pants!’ I attempted to explain, as Simon huffed. ‘Well, why don’t they just SAY nice trousers then?’

I was trying very hard to hide my disappointment that Jane wasn’t coming home for Christmas, and so I resorted to my default setting in times of emotional distress of online panic shopping. Also, there are no fires in airports to read A Christmas Carol beside, are there? Not like at home,’ I pointed out. Most parents/couples will relate to almost everything in this book. And I had just read the chapter about getting the little ones ready for school before I woke my little one up, and no matter how organised you try to be there is always something you are racing around the house looking for at the last minute. Verbier is only in Switzerland,’ Simon argued. Ah, Switzerland. Not France. Must remember that. ‘Even Thailand isn’t that far in this day and age. And it’s hardly forever; it’s only for Christmas!’You talk through everything. Every film, TV and radio programme. That’s not the point, though. The point, my darling, is – this is our chance to do this. To do the beach Christmas, or the country house hotel Christmas. There was always some reason before. Too expensive, the kids had things on, family was insisting on descending. But now, it’s just us. We can do whatever we want!’ Mummy’s carefully laid plans of perfectly figging up the pudding, while sitting by the fire reading aloud from A Christmas Carol to her rapt rosy-cheeked audience, are suddenly in tatters.