This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships

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I was surprised by how much I liked this book about a guy whose wife divorced him, and after getting over the anger and bitterness realized that he was almost entirely at fault and was able to look at inward and fix the problems. He’s now a life coach on relationships, and I think this entire book is very valuable for couples. Like usual, I saw my own behavior in his bad behavior. So that was eye-opening. Then a bunch of things we historically take for granted like bars and restaurants and hair salons closed, and—BAM—it’s a global pandemic, and in the context of life disruption and news coverage, we were collectively experiencing the biggest news story of my, at the time, 41 years of life. You don’t have anything to tolerate or be understanding about. You’re talking about a very real thing that has always adversely affected you and has never adversely affected me. I’m not sure he 100% grasps the idea of personal responsibility fully, but I AM 100% sure that if more men did what he suggests, a lot of marriages would be so much stronger, and a lot of women would feel (and BE) more respected, listened to, understood, etc.

The author is now a relationship coach and apparently many relationships have been saved thanks to his coaching. And it's precisely this rarity that makes this book and Fray's confessions so compelling. He started out like most recently divorced men, blaming the demise of his marriage on his wife making a "big deal" out of "trivial things." But in his aloneness, he did the soul-searching that led to his 180 or at least allowed him to talk a good talk. I believe in his sincerity in wanting to save other couples from his fate. The final chapter where he details the day his wife and son moved out is like a gut punch. It haunts me.I wrote this book for my ex-wife. For my son. For my mother and father. For my friends. For my clients. For you. I get what this guy is trying to convey that he (and many men) should step up to be more accountable and ownership, but he shouldn't place all the blame on himself. His ex-wife was somewhat responsible of the divorce. I'd say it was 80/20. Not 100/0 like he's taking the martyrs role and going to die on his hill alone for the sake of responsibility and to get likes on his posts. Irresistible by Joshua Paul Dale delves into the surprisingly ancient origins of Japan’s #kawaii culture and uncovers the cross-cultural pollination of the globalised world 🦊

The author also seems to be very honest in his reflections of where he failed and was a shitty partner, to the extent that I can't but agree with the chapter where he mused that it's a wonder his ex-wife married and had a child with him in the first place. However, it's impressive growth that he's undertaken since then, so you gotta give him credit for that.

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One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a phone-in-therapist's advice to "journal his feelings," Matthew Fray started a blog. On it, he tried to piece together how his ex-wife went from the college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was an asshole - before leaving him to have sex with someone else. It turns out that even though he was a decent guy, he was kind of a shitty husband. Is it the most well written book I’ve ever read? No, but it is worth a read. Skim the parts that repeat themselves if necessary. Give it to your hubby. Discuss it. It gave me new ways of explaining how I feel when our relationship inevitably falls into one of the traps humans can’t help but stumble into. Not everyone will identify, unless you deal with pretty conventional gender norms, that’s also worth noting. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he'd learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote--"She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink"--went viral and was read over four million times.

Sobering and inspiring, heartbreaking and hilarious ... gets to the root of questions that can make or break a life partnership. Read it, heed it, act on it - for yourself and for the one you love' I thought this was an interesting take, especially since it was written by someone who is divorced and obviously living with a lot of pain and regret. Biggest takeaways for me are: P49 My wife, over and over again, head me promise to hurt her again in the future. I thought I was intelligently sharing a different way to think about it so that my wife could adjust her silly feelings so she wouldn't be inconvenienced by them. This is a must-read for people in any stage of a relationship, whether it's near the beginning or nearing the end.DisobedientBodies explores society’s patriarchal and capitalist beauty standards and calls on us to rebel against them! This is a powerful and inspiring new way of looking at beauty. Until I got divorced by being an asshole. And THEN, eight or nine years later, you could make the case I’m being rewarded for it. About how we serially invalidate the experiences of those we love. About how we defend our character when the real problem is our behavior. About how we fail to love and respect ourselves in healthy ways. About how we fail to know—to REALLY KNOW—the people we claim to love the most. About how we fail to consider them each and every day when we make choices. About how we often don’t notice how lonely and neglected and abandoned a person feels when they’re made to feel so unimportant that we don’t even make it a priority to include them in our everyday decisions. The overall thesis he argues throughout is that "good people can still make bad partners". This is due to how we aren't actually taught these fundamental skills in school or anything. As a result, people [in romantic relationships] accidentally hurt one another and betray each other's trust without either partner being aware of it till it's too late--there is an accumulation of tiny betrayals. The failure to identify the root cause of this "dooms us to repeat the same behaviours in future ones." A little over 4 years ago, I remember asking hopefully if you planned to write one, and you said yes, and I’ve been looking forward to it ever since. And here it is at last! I cannot wait to read it and buy extra copies for others who will be sure to enjoy it. You continue to give wonderful perspective with your healing words and it means the world to me.