Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

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If you have an abusive partner, then here are some tips to help you deal with them, protect yourself, and stop walking on eggshells; 1. Communicate Honestly If you are tired of walking on eggshells in your relationship, then it’s time to break this unhealthy and toxic habit. Stop tolerating your partner’s behavior and act to see the change that you want. I have, in fact, read very few other books who took that much time and tried to be so careful in their wording as in this book although it wasn't even written for BP's. You constantly have to look at your partner to see if they are already glaring at you, being silent, or would even squeeze your hand tightly out of anger. 5. You are no longer happy Karakurt G, Silver KE. Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: the role of gender and age. Violence Vict. 2013;28(5):804-821. doi:10.1891/0886-6708.vv-d-12-00041

You accept everything that is thrown at you because you feel that you are powerless and weak and that you can’t stand up for yourself. Deep inside, you know this as a fact. That’s why you just try your best to let everything pass. 9. One-way decision making My heart stopped when I found this book on my now Ex boyfriend's bookshelf. He came home from work to find me reading it and the expression on his face was absolute shame and horror. It disappeared the next day when he left for work, but the damage was already done. When am I currently the most content: when I am with this person, when I am alone, or when I am with others? Misunderstanding is common in every relationship, but how can you clear the issue if you can’t even justify yourself or the situation?What’s left when we must consistently walk on eggshells with someone is superficial small talk, strained silences, and lots of tension. When safety and intimacy are gone from a relationship, we get used to acting. We pretend that we’re happy when we’re not. We say that everything is fine when it isn’t. What used to be a graceful dance of caring and closeness becomes a masked ball in which the people involved are hiding more and more of their true selves.

Express: Express your feelings or opinions about the situation clearly. Take responsibility for your own feelings; do not say, “You made me feel this way.” Instead say, “I felt this way.” Your relationship becomes a complicated network of carefully chosen steps and words and then waits with bated breath about your partner’s reaction. Being on constant high alert and scared to speak your mind to avoid upsetting your partner’s mood becomes more and more normal in the relationship.

Walking On Eggshells Happens In Every Relationship

When you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, it can eventually lead to a never-ending cycle of mistreatment and abuse. If you or your loved one is in an abusive relationship, then do not hesitate to reach out for help.

Remind your partner that being honest and listening attentively is better than walking on eggshells. 5. Set boundaries

It was like listening to the tales of a serial killer slash psychotic murderer both rolled into one. If a friend was in my place and told me the story of this relationship, what advice would I give them? Don’t say things designed to evoke shame or guilt, such as “How could you!” The BP already feels ashamed. Abuse from walking on eggshells in a relationship isn’t only done verbally. You don’t talk about it with your family or friends, but you know your partner’s non-verbal cues when this person is angry. Relationship issues: Walking on eggshells can cause problems in your relationships with others. You may start to feel resentful or angry towards someone who you feel is forcing you to constantly censor yourself.