Joined in 2023 
82 
63 About this deal
Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Hilarious Dirty Minded Jokes A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of b**bs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriates his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of p*nises are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man also goes through three phases. In his 20s, his p*nis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes: Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.” Want more really funny stuff? I’ve spent the last three years looking for my wife’s killer. I still haven’t found a person willing to do it. I assist with e**ctions. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I? I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup – just happy to be there.” – Russell Howard
All men have it. Some have theirs longer than others sometimes depending on where they come from. The Pope and most Catholic bishops rarely use theirs. Men usually give it to their wives once they are married. What am I? A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue. The 19-year-old daughter of a French woman confides in her mom that she has a positive pregnancy test. The mom panics and demands to meet the father. A few hours later, her daughter’s boyfriend arrives in a shiny Mercedes, wearing a luxurious Christian Dior suit. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."Are you a supermarket sample? Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame. That’s so aggressive! Let’s have a good time! 14. What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? The head nurse.
Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”Did the sex toy store employee say anything to the customers before closing for the night? There’s no time to waste! It’s time for you to beat it! Q: What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? A: I want you inside me! Girl: “Hey, what’s up?” Boy: “If I tell you, will you sit on it?” I’m going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. She’s particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon. Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant & panic is when both are pregnant What do m@sturbation and procrastination have in common? With both, you are really just screwing yourself. *** Last Epic Dirty Joke: Mistake from the Past ***
As we become older, we find “clean jokes” less humorous as we have a lot more adult sense of humor: hence we prefer funny short adult jokes that can’t make us stop laughing. If they’re making cakes for divorces, why not ‘Happy Menopause!’ ‘Mmm, it’s a bit dry. Why is there no jam? Have you run out of eggs? What did the elephant say to the man coming out of the river completely undressed? How do you breathe with that tiny little thing between your legs? What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between br*asts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?I have a confession to make,” a young man told his girlfriend. “While we’ve been dating, I’ve been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.” “Oh, don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’ve been secretly seeing a car salesman, postman, and your father.” If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. During a Sunday school session, a Sunday school teacher asked kids if they knew how God takes people. One kid stood up and said ‘God takes people by the feet.’ The teacher inquired for an explanation and the kid said that she walked in on her parents and found her mother’s legs lifted up in the air while screaming ‘God I’m coming’ What is the common point between sex and a game of bridge? Even if you do not have a good partner, it’s essential to have a good hand. When he was poor he used to m**turbate. Now somebody else does it for him. That’s the difference between poor and rich. True Story
A man books a hotel room while traveling for business. He asks for a room with a king bed, and he’s given the keys to a nice room on the 21st floor. Exhausted from the long day, he immediately falls asleep on the bed. Do you want to hear a joke about a p*ssy? Nevermind. You would never get it! Rapid-fire dirty jokes (exclusives!) Now that you read out these inappropriate yet hilariously dirty jokes, we hope it made you laugh! Why not share these jokes at the end of the day when only the adults are left standing? Surely it will make them struggle to keep a straight face the entire time. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams.
🍪 Privacy & Transparency
How can you tell the difference between ‘Aaah’ and ‘ooooh’? Well, the difference is about three inches. Sometimes, humor is all about efficiency and that applies to the best adult jokes as well. If you can make people laugh with only one or two sentences – you can call yourself a truly funny person! They had a happy new year…if you know what I mean! 9. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they won’t stop to ask directions. Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Great Deal 
New Comment