permission to feel

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Caution: the subject matter discussed in this book may be too intense or disturbing for some of the book’s readers. These include the following:

Permission to Be (permission to feel) : North, Karlee R Permission to Be (permission to feel) : North, Karlee R

karlee rose is a twenty-three-year-old queer poet looking to connect to the world with her poems. she has been writing poetry since she was a little girl and has been enjoying the bliss of sharing them. she has a science degree she probably won’t ever use. so for now, she shares her words with you. the ultimate goal of her poetry is to be a safe haven for the queer community, as well as bring representation to the poetry world: especially in regard to queer love. you probably don’t know this but every kiss, every conversation, every cuddle, every touch with you, brings me closer to myself. loving you is quite literally teaching me how to love me too. sometimes I feel gross, like there is something gross about being gay. and then you touch me, you look at me, you kiss me, and all of those toxic thoughts slip away. believing in you, is believing in me. loving you, is loving me. supporting you, means supporting me too. you are my biggest supporter, best ally, best friend. you are exactly what I need right now. “we” are changing my life. we make the perfect friends, but neither of us know how to make the first move. it’s eating me alive. I cannot live with this secret much longer. the conversation is coming. I’m building up enough courage to set myself free. stay tuned. I wanted to feel more at times, and other times I didn’t want to feel at all. I wish it went on and went deeper into the mind of Karlee. So, I am giving this 4.3/5.your lungs couldn’t take in enough air, and your eyes grew raw from the tears. this is for the strongest person I know, even when she did not see her strength. this is for the girl who never gave up on herself. the girl who never gave up on me. this is for her. this is for me. this is for us. I don’t want to be anywhere aleyah is not. I have started to look for her in crowds. hoping that she will turn the corner. I dress to impress her. I hope that she notices the little details of my outfit and when I play with my lips. I get jealous when she talks about other girls, but I don’t feel like I will ever be enough for her. This put together book of separate journal entries/story/poems feels so personal, and like I’m just having a one on one conversation with the writer. It’s deep, it’s meaningful and it’s for anyone that has ever questioned their own sexuality. Or anyone that’s had days where they didn’t know their purpose, and they might need a little reminder that they matter. what is the point of living if we cannot be true to ourselves? to fully trust our hearts to lead us in the right direction? on my death bed, I want to know that I gave my all to the people that I love. that I chased after my dreams relentlessly and fearlessly. that I showed up as my authentic self, day in and day out. I want to say that love was my best friend. I want love to lay with me when I take my last breath. I want to be love. I want to give love. and I want to be loved. I am tired of letting fear control my life. I am not my fears. I am terrified of so many things. and it is debilitating. love. love. love. let love overpower fear. let yourself love and be loved enough to no longer be afraid.

permission to love by karlee north DOWNLOAD EBOOK [PDF] permission to love by karlee north

Poems felt more like stream of consciousness that were later published without a second thought. After the first ten the motives started repeating themselves, I would have loved the author to have sat with their emotions for longer and actually make interesting observations. Further it would have been nice if she would have had tried to make it rhyme at least once. additionally, the content in this book is intended for a mature audience. this book discusses sex explicitly and often. please do not read if you are not mature enough to digest the sexual content (notice how I didn’t write an age, if you are a full-grown adult who is embarrassed by sexual content, please put this book down and do some introspection).

I’m sorry that I let you treat me like you did -like I owed you something. I’m sorry that you were what I thought I needed. thank you for showing me that I don’t need you. that you were never the one. I spent so many hours wondering if I had made a mistake letting you go. I was blinded by the butterflies and familiarity. I hope it comforts you to know that I found someone that treats me right. someone that respects and cares about me with all that she is. I hope you find happiness too. we learned a lot from each other. I learned how to value myself and what love doesn’t feel like. I used to wonder when we would be done kissing. I don’t do that anymore. I’m sorry that I didn’t give you clarity, I was too busy giving it to myself. I hope this letter finds you, in the stars or in a laugh or in a song that reminds you of me. that is all the closure I can provide. I’m realizing that putting words to feelings is scary. validating and allowing yourself to be validated is scary. life is scary.