Every Family Has A Story: How we inherit love and loss

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Learn how to manage your most painful emotions – from anxiety, to guilt, to anger. Develop everyday routines which ground and soothe you. Discover how to have honest, helpful conversations about death to get the support you need. Kim Hawley with her father Jim Scherman in 2021. Your questions and recordings do not have to be perfect. What is most important is documenting these stories while you can.

Grateful that @u.s.surgeongeneral Vivek Murthy made @DukeUniversity his first stop on this #MadeToConnect tour. I sat down with him and @DukeMBB coach @jscheyer to talk about social forces that keep us lonelier than we need to be. Every Picture Tells a Story -Metal Wall Art, Living Room Wall Art, Family Home Wall Art, Family name sign, Family Sign, Family Decor Kate: I like the idea though, of, like a 90 second feeling. I’m really into that. Like, I mean, I bet it feels like 5 hours. If I had, like, a stopwatch, though, for, like, shame, it would be a wonderful thing.. To be like, I’m just gonna give myself this many seconds and then see. It’s very important for seniors to re-tell their stories. It is important for families to be interested in and heed the stories. Much is lost if the younger generation doesn’t take the time to hear life stories.” (Dr. Wendy Scheinberg-Elliott) Julia: And that’s what was so awful about the pandemic was that people who suffered suffered more in the pandemic because of that isolation. Yeah. I mean and that that really caused real harm, I think real psychological harm to to millions of people.

Kita, vis dažniau knygose mane atrandanti tema yra karantinas! Ta universali pasaulio patirtis jos metu! Ir, tiesą pasakius, aš tarsi vis laukiau, ką psichologai tirs ir kalbės apie pandemijos įtakas ir poveikius. Ši dalis buvo labai įdomi, nors jai skirtas foninis, antraeilis dėmesys. 💛 Kate: When you write. We only fix what we face. It makes me think you are a a source of deep courage, who for especially for those of us although these many of us. Who are not exactly sure how to find a richer story that includes our family to help ease the burden of whatever going through. So thank you, Julia. You are you are a source of tremendous wisdom to me. And I am so glad that I met you.

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Grief Works is a compassionate guide that will support, inform and engage anyone who is grieving, from the ‘expected’ death of a parent to the sudden and unexpected death of a small child. It also provides clear advice for those seeking to comfort the bereaved. Every family has a story that it tells itself, that it passes on to the children and grandchildren. The story grows over the years, mutates, some parts are sharpened, others dropped, and there is often debate about what really happened. But even with these different sides of the same story, there is still agreement that this is the family story. And in the absence of other narratives, it becomes the flagpole that the family hangs its identity from.” (A.M. Homes) I also found it awkward when she told clients 'what a wonderful son' he was. Perhaps that would work with some clients but for others, I feel there is a need for authenticity; after all, can any therapist honestly know whether a grown adult has been a 'wonderful son' from a few therapy sessions? Julia: There’s the Winnicott term, which is, you know, is a parent is the good enough parent, which I think covers a lot of bases. And certainly with me as being a failing parent. But I think when you’ve had a really abusive, difficult childhood, in some ways the hate does you more harm and the blame because it gets inside you and it contaminates every other feeling that you have. So that if you can find a way of giving yourself a story. You know, the the emotions that we have, if you can allow yourself to feel the legitimate feelings and allow ourselves to be angry and upset and betrayed and all of those things, and also kind of find a way of saying, you know, they were given who they were, the history they had and what they knew. They did the best they could. And that best was devastating for me. Kind of does cover it because if you just keep blaming them and keep hating them, it keeps you trapped as well, keeps you imprisoned. I don’t know if the word is forgiveness, but I think it’s living with and allowing for its like the accommodation of both. There were some good bits, probably all of the bad bits and that you have to allow for it.

It is how parents live, far more than what they say, that becomes embedded in their children. I have often witnessed parents saying to their children, ‘All I want is for you to be happy,’ but how would the child begin to know what ‘happy’ looks like if they haven’t seen it?’ When it comes to choosing a recording device, NPR archivist Nicolette Khan says simplicity is key. "You could get really hung up on creating a perfect recording or preserving it in the perfect way, but as long as it's something that you can save, keep and share, whatever tools you have are the best tools to use." Kate: Yes, that’s right. I imagine the Canadian version would just be like a deep, awkward politeness, like just a small wave if you happen to be. Kate: When we’re trying to understand our bigger family web and maybe especially. Those in that system who have been unkind, maybe untrue, unfaithful. I mean, maybe the reason why we’re going to therapy in the first place. I wondered if I wonder if we could talk about the limits of this kind of empathy. Because I remember I had an interesting conversation with Tara Westover to remember her. She wrote that book, Educated. It’s this beautiful Occasionally, Samuel’s elegant wrapping up of chapters – the hint of marshmallow without quite enough steel – encourages misgivings. Would more time have helped? Maybe there needed to be a garnish of hopelessness too – to convince. She concludes: “The difficult truth is that we can only fix what we can face.” I was waiting for her to add that there is an even more difficult truth: that not everything can be fixed. But Samuel is on the side of making life better, and, especially at this moment in human history, nothing could matter more.Autorė knygoje sudėjo skirtingas šeimas ir jų patirtis. Džiaugsmus, stiprybes, silpnumus ir nuoskaudas. Žavėjo jos pačios empatija ir žmogiškumas. Kiekvienoje istorijoje radau ir ją pačią, jai kylančius jausmus ir kūno pojūčius. Toks dalyvavimas sesijose pasirodė labai jautrus, pakeliantis, palaikantis ir kuriantis ryšį. Kate: And. What do you suggest for people who have incomplete stories and don’t have enough information to piece it together in a way that’s satisfying? Mystery is sort of can be a terrible maybe maybe we just have to grieve that mystery. Exploring the relationships that both touch us most and hurt us most, including the often under-appreciated impact of grandparents and siblings, and incorporating the latest academic research, she offers wisdom that is applicable to us all. Her twelve touchstones for family well-being -- from fighting productively to making time for rituals -- provide us with the tools to improve our relationships, and to create the families we wish for.