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This is a good book for those in crisis mode. When you're beaten down and feeling trapped and you don't know what the hell is wrong with you, you need this book, which tells you over and over and over and over again: You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person. You're okay, you're a good person...
Melody defines the triangle is composed of three main roles: rescuer, persecutor, and victim. The role-changing and other emotional inconsistencies sustain the flexibility in this process. Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”These reactions are most likely learned in response to stress – for instance, the constant uncertainty of living with an alcoholic. And while these stress reactions can act as a coping mechanism, they only hurt us in the long run. That’s because, just like alcoholism, codependency is a progressive condition that doesn’t get better on its own;it only gets worse.
Codependents find it extremely tough to find love and peace in the small things as they are often overwhelmed by anger and prone to overthinking. Then we can be open to the next step. We are on time, and we are where we need to be. We can be trusted. So can God. And letting go and gratitude still work. Keep your head up and your heart open. And let's see what's next. Happy five-year anniversary, Codependent No More. The book contains many quotes from the Twelve Step model and makes many references to God and a Higher Power. The Twelve Step references seemed appropriate at first but I didn't expect to see chapter(s) dedicated to the program. While the parts about the Twelve Step Program offer a good preview for those considering meetings for codependents, it started feeling like a sales pitch. I could have done without so many theistic references, and even though the author states that these references are spiritual but not religious, they felt religious. When I first read this book, I figure that I would not post my feelings about it because they were too personal. However, now having some distance from the book and being able to employ the lessons I have learned, I am able to share myself with others. One of the most interesting, and least explored, concepts covered in the chronology or pattern of behavior. Here's my take:So what is codependency? The term was coined originally to describe spouses of those dependent on alcohol or other drugs. For example, we'll say a woman is married to an alcoholic husband. The husband, dependent on the alcohol, is hampered in his ability to overcome alcoholism because of his codependent wife. VERY helpful book for many women, including my former self. I have read and recommended, and bought this book countless times for others. I buy every copy I see at garage sales and used book stores, knowing that shortly, someone will come into my sphere that needs it. This book is about taking care of YOURSELF, your neglected areas of living and using boundaries, both on yourself (being caretakers we frequently overreach ourselves) and on others. It clears up messy areas of emotions and I think should be required reading for everyone. You can find a wide spectrum of people who run through life without a compass, always seeking comfort and approval. Different theories exist about what causes this obsession to surface, but we are interested in more than just theories. First, you have to understand the group of people that is prone to this way of life. They exhibit insecure submissiveness and, almost always, you can see them prioritize their feelings. I saw people who were hostile; they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again.” My daughter comes home from her first week at a new school. "Guess what, Mom?" she says. "We're reading a meditation each day in homeroom class from your book, The Language of Letting Go. And at my friend's school, they're talking about codependency issues in health class."
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