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When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. It’s trouble enough to play with cheaters. Just imagine how terrifying it is to play with cheetahs! 19. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands!
What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.” I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys.
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A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.” Audiences for these will have to get specific references to TVs, movies and other newsmakers before these jokes can be deployed, but it's good to have them at the ready. I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” If your dad deserves a bit of pampering, this skincare gift set from Kiehl's will hydrate and energise tired-looking skin with a selection of the brand's favourites. Any BBQ king would love to get his hands on this Gentlemen's Hardware Multi-Tool to elevate his grill game. And this personalised wallet is the perfect gift accompaniment.
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine! My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.” My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March. Q: What’s the difference between a badly dressed kid on a bicycle and a well dressed kid on a tricycle?Add a bit of cheesiness and spice to your conversations with these cheesy dad jokes! 1. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s just so hard without him.
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