Swing with Me : Our First Time Swinging Experience

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Breaking this rule without prior agreement from your partner is a breach of trust,’ says sex expert Isabelle from Bedbible. ‘Crossing your partner’s boundaries in this way and being dishonest by doing it without their consent damages the foundation of trust needed in a relationship.’ Can ‘soft swinging’ have benefits in a relationship? I learned that just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to only sleep with them for the rest of your life. It’s up to every couple to decide for themselves. So you’ve decided to become swingers. What now? Start slow. "Swinging to me is like adding salt to a recipe," shares Brenna, 32. "You can always add salt — but you can’t subtract it."

Soft swinging involves non-penetrative sexual relations outside of a marriage or primary relationship, as opposed to swinging or a ‘full swap’ where two or more couples will exchange partners and have sexual intercourse. I would never recommend swinging to anyone, but neither would I tell them to stay away from it. Every relationship is unique, and it’s entirely up to the individuals involved to figure out what works best for them. Many of the tips I could give are covered in my beginner’s guide to sex parties. But I must repeat this one, especially for the men: Dress to impress or attempt the theme if there is one. "I cannot tell you the number of events I’ve gone to where the women are in these impeccable dresses and heels and look amazing," bemoans Brenna, "and the guys show up in t-shirts and jeans." I do not care if it’s Versace and has rhinestones — it’s still a t-shirt, dude. I remember coming home one night at three in the morning and seeing he wasn’t home. He had already started going out for paid sex services, but he always came home after and never spent an entire night outside.Still, I eventually realised that was the entire point of the encounter. I did, however, find it strange to make out with John with other people in the room.

Soft-swinging can also be a way to see if full swinging or other types of consensual non-monogamy would benefit the relationship.’ As the scenery changed from the endless blue sea to the jade mountains of Bora Bora, we were both so overcome by the beauty that we couldn’t help but go to town on each other.

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I haven’t told my family or close friends about this aspect of our relationship because I’m afraid they will think I am forced into it. I’m not ashamed of our actions. But I believe many people won’t understand our motivations. John and I love each other, and we have built a relationship in which we coexist harmoniously. The unique nature of our relationship and the memories we have created together can never be replicated by or with another person. And while I didn’t feel the need to have children once I was out of university, I still believed in monogamy. I had only been in monogamous relationships before marrying my husband, John. I expected we would be each other’s only partners.