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Although she did suffer abuse and a tough hand with her childhood this story was more about her journey through drug abuse, the court system and recovery. It’s important to remember that these feelings are not universal and can vary depending on individual experiences and coping mechanisms. Such statements express regret. But you can’t hold yourself responsible for what didn’t know or couldn’t have done as a child. As a mom, I found myself heartbroken on more than one occasion, as someone who grew up with a totalitarian father in a household that screamed and slammed doors as part of their day to day existence I was scared, and as someone who has watched someone I care about push me away and lie because they were deep in their own addiction it gave me perspective.
Your parents are your first example of what a relationship looks like. Most people unconsciously seek to replicate the relationship dynamic with their parents in their relationships in adulthood. Without your realizing it, a father wound may cause you to seek partners who repeat the negative behaviors of your father. This can mean a partner who’s absent, overbearing or overly critical. We seek this out because it brings a sense of familiarity and comfort. However, choosing a partner similar to your father only repeats your trauma from childhood. Cycle of Abuse You may feel alone in your grief over your father. That might be true. There aren’t many support groups for father wounds.When he then became a father himself in his early 30s he was flooded with feelings of anxiety and dread. He didn’t have a clue about how to be a father and he often hid at work as it felt so uncomfortable having a child that needed him. He felt ashamed as he had always told himself that he would be present for his children and suddenly he felt that he could not be that father he wanted to be. Am I condemning myself as a total person on the basis of a single event or the opinion of a single person? A father wound can manifest in various emotional and psychological ways, and the specific feelings experienced may differ from person to person.
Father wound” is another term for father absenteeism. When a person’s father is physically absent, emotionally distant or an abusive, negative or overly critical character, it can have long-term consequences for the individual. Parents are the first people children learn to love, so when they’re unsupportive in any way, it can send a negative message. Damage Caused by a Father Wound Related: Healing From A Narcissistic Abuse By A Parent – 7 Practical Strategies Father Wound Causes Having difficulty opening up and connecting with others, making it hard to form meaningful, long-lasting relationships and friendships If you experienced childhood emotional neglect you may repeat the pattern as you don’t know any different. Perhaps you become a practical parent and struggle with emotionally engaging with your child(ren). You may find this post useful: Parenting when you have experienced childhood emotional neglect and/or trauma .
How to Know If You Have a Father Wound
Related: Forgiving Someone Who Isn’t Sorry: 9-Step Guide To Free Yourself From The Past #7. Seek Support A father wound can leave a person feeling low, depressed or anxious about their parental relationship. A parent is supposed to offer unconditional love, and if you see that others have that, it’s hard to understand why you don’t. Often, this anxiety or depression turns to anger. Individuals may feel robbed of a happy, normal childhood. They may also feel deeply hurt by their father’s actions or absenteeism and grow resentful. Rigid Boundaries This book does a great job, not just “telling the story” but allowing the reader to “feel the feelings” and follow the logic of the author. Garrison is intentionally open and vulnerable about where she was coming from and presents much of her (at times self-admittedly, skewed) reasoning for the reader to understand her struggles.
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