The Good Ally: A Guided Anti-racism Journey from Bystander to Changemaker

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One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is learning how to create closure within rather than expecting other people to give it to us. To be truly anti-racist, confront the parts of yourself that you hide.’ Photograph: Suki Dhanda/The Observer

Try starting with “Thanks for letting me know” to put yourself in a better frame of mind. If after you say that, you need to take some time to think about the situation, that’s fine, too. Just remember that this isn’t about changing the other person’s frame of mind. They’re allowed to be upset about being oppressed. Whenever you see someone being discriminated against, abused, or marginalised, speak up - if it is safe to do so,” says Chloe. What Rankine said here (and, more recently, here and here) is that the problem with the man’s question is that it assumed that she was the one with a problem: This chapter is a must read, but a difficult one. This chapter discusses how white people are more likely to call out overt racism in the workplace but appear ill equipped to recognise subtle racism and understand its effects. Reid also discusses how racism often written off as “office banter” and how the fear of being labelled a troublemaker or damaging career progression means many people simply don’t report racist incidents in the workplace.I would recommend listening this to Audible, as it’s narrated by Nova Reid herself and she is very engaging. It’s literally like being in the room and having a conversation with her one to one. And it is work. It’s about actively unlearning the things that might seem normal but actually are oppressing someone else.” Good apologies are heartfelt acts that let go of pride and ego. They center the pain of the impacted, regardless of the apologizer’s intent. If only those from marginalized and underinvested communities could cast away the identities marking them as targets with such ease.

Consider the context in which you want to apologize and how that might affect not only you but also the person receiving your apology. One particularly fine piece of work in the book is Reid's reframing of privilege as advantage, privilege as a word having a class-based response in the UK that is not helpful. There is also some useful information about trauma epigenetics - that trauma is passed down through generations so that when something awful happens now, it can trigger "deep-rooted historical trauma we were not even witness to" (p. 175). I was aware there was some work going on about intergenerational trauma that's come out in books I've seen others read so it was useful to see a summary of the topic presented so clearly and understandably here.In light of recent events and tragedies, I’ve been hearing the word “ally” a lot. Many people want to be an “ally”, and even more people are unable to fulfill the duties allyship requires. For me, being an ally is one the best parts of my job, not because I’m the head of diversity and inclusion, but because I believe that everyone should be able to bring their whole selves to work. It is a person who accepts that there is no certificate or completion date. To accept they will get it wrong and do it anyway. But it is mostly a person who accepts that there is no magic formula, or a one-size-fits-all approach to this work. The only way to be truly anti-racist is go on a journey to unlearn your own inherent racism, because it is on that journey that you will find your unique path to becoming actively anti-racist. Nova Reid is one of the most generous, open-hearted, energising writers working today. The Good Ally is a beautiful, bold and no-BS guide to getting uncomfortable, digging deep and being fully human. It will be the best and hardest work you ever do. You will not regret it.' Emma Gannon

This book gives one of the most practical and comprehensive descriptions of the difference between systemic and systematic racism.' It’s not enough to just say you’re not racist or you’re not homophobic anymore, you have to be actively anti those things,” adds Chloe. Powerful, exhilarating and confronting, this book stayed at the front of my thoughts, long after I'd finished it.' Zoe Williams, Guardian ColumnistMany would-be allies fear making mistakes that could have them labeled as “-ist” or “-ic” (racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic, etc). But as an ally, you’re also affected by a system of oppression. This means that as an ally, there is much to unlearn and learn—mistakes are expected. You need to own this as fact and should be willing to embrace the daily work of doing better. Think of this guide as one of many starting points in your journey to become a better ally. This guide isn’t meant to be comprehensive nor is it perfect. There are people far more versed than I, who have dedicated their life’s work to this sort of education.

Because we can think more clearly about stepping on someone’s literal toes than we usually do when it comes to oppression, the problems with many common responses are obvious: It is important to not cut to the end of the book or read a summary version. Only then can the impact be really felt. While you’re already on Google getting to grips with every letter of the LGBT+ alphabet you can explore the history of the LGBT movement. Getting to know the history of LGBT activism is an empowering act in becoming an LGBT ally. As well as honouring the effort and sacrifices of those that have come before, it’s important to appreciate how far we have come in the struggle for equality to fully understand how far we have left to go. 3. Discover the challenges facing the LGBT community today This book is essential reading for healthcare professionals. The foundations of this book should be a core part of medical and psychological competencies on all training courses. As a clinical psychologist, reading Nova's book has been transformative and made me re-evaluate so much of what I thought I knew. It's a real stepping stone to becoming active in anti-racism work, which should be something we all strive for. We owe it to ourselves and the next generation to heal our collective humanity and Nova's book is a beautiful way to begin”But while I've said The Good Ally is easy to follow, I don't mean it's an easy read. Racism and anti-racism is a difficult topic to process. It took me a while to finish this book, simply because it took time to take in everything I was reading. Do not take credit for the labor of those who are marginalized and did the work before you stepped into the picture It’s easy to imagine that when you come across discrimination or hateful language you will whir into action, righting wrongs and effortlessly challenging the behaviour and views of people speaking and acting in a hurtful manner. The reality can be very different and truthfully, sometimes standing up against discrimination can be an intimidating experience. The important thing is to let your voice be heard and although it’s not always easy, these are situations where being an ally really counts. It’s important to let those with bigoted views know that they are not in a world where they can marginalise or bully those that need our support - and this is really the essence of what being an ally is all about. Further information The Good Ally delves into a hard subject to read about, whoever you are. Anti-Racism. This might be because you've been oppressed by racism your whole life, and it's traumatic to think about it head-on. Or it might be because it can be hard to accept exactly how much racism has impacted the world you grew up in.