He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

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There are some really wonderful and wonderfully presented strategies that I will use with students and likely the 16yo in my house. He covers so much that I have heard over the years: executive functioning, growth mindset, gender differences, scaffolding, etc. There are clear explanations of teenage brain development, the role of male hormones, the impact of burgeoning sexuality, and teenagers’ need to find their feet as independent social and emotional beings.

Highly recommended if you have a teenage son - if you don't, you won't find much of interest or application here. If you’re thinking “well he doesn’t seem very stressed by it, that’s half the problem”, he is probably blocking it all out and hoping it will go away. If you have a teenage boy with ADHD or a son who just lacks the focus to reach his academic potential, I wholeheartedly recommend this book to you.Honestly, I never thought that having the amazing opportunity of witnessing the transition of my son becoming an adult was going to drive me crazy, to make me doubt myself in one year more than I have during my whole life, to make me want to give up, run away and hide for the next 10 years.

I’m not sure He’s Not Lazy provides the easy-to-follow route map that most parents of must-try-harder boys long for, but it definitely helped me understand my son better. It offered some solid advice and some that I thought to be a bit unrealistic, although it may be realistic for other kids (like writing their feelings in a journal… a great idea but I’m not sure it applies to the kids he’s talking about). The demands on a teenager today are more intense than when we were teenagers, mostly in the academic sense. He seems to think what they need is more work they’ll never do to figure out why they’re not doing work.It’s a confusing and challenging world out there, and our adolescents need our help to learn to navigate it.

The author makes us realizing that controlling and being overinvolved parents actually cripple our children, and make them believe they can't do it. He's Not Lazy' is the first book to address this problem, to help parents understand the underlying issues affecting their sons and to offer a constructive alternative to fights and fruitless bouts of negotiation. Shame is one of the most powerful and negative emotions for teens and can lead to damage in your relationship if you shame him when he already feels overwhelmed and stressed. He has presented widely to both parents and educators on opting out, child development, and learning disabilities, and has appeared on “Good Day New York” and other programs to discuss topics ranging from discipline to the impact of video games on children. Appearing like he's "too cool for school" means he doesn't need to face all this pressure, or have people find out he really isn't that smart.D., is a clinical psychologist with more than 20 years of experience working with children and teens. I have read several books about teenagers and parenting but this book has greatly surprised me so far.