Forget Me Not: A Memoir

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If you have read Into Thin Air, then this is probably a book you will like although I liked that book but not this one as much because of the characters. I'm so proud of Jen, for her zeal to overcome loss even after she loses other climbers to mountains or when her mother and sister succumb to cancer. She sells prints of her paintings to benefit the charities she and others have set up in Alex Lowe’s memory, and I have a couple of those hanging, framed in cowhide, in my own house. Rating memoirs is hard, especially ones that deal with grief; it feels disrespectful to slap something starred atop someone's poured-out emotions. They endured long separations so Alex could work as a professional climber while Jenni stayed home writing, painting, and raising their sons.

When commercial success came to the climber, it obligated him to commercial trips, first guiding and then sponsored trips. At the same time Alex's best friend, famed climber Conrad Anker, was dealing with the terrible loss as well as feelings of survivor's guilt. Or, perhaps, it would be a regrettable story of an obsessed, stupid, unloving climber who finally got out of the way of his family's happiness. I discovered Jenni Lowe-Anker after I watched the documentary Meru, about her third husband Conrad's ascent of a highly technical and previously unsummited Himalayan peak.In all, this was a lovely memoir, poignant and plain-spoken, and carried something like a luminous sweetness that's hard to describe. She clearly draws on carefully kept journals and letters, and this allows her to provide some really precise, immediate memories and descriptions of events. She is a serious climber herself (or was; as she states, parenthood increased her drive for self preservation), and she conveys clearly the concepts necessary to understand the climbing stories she relays. Jennifer Lowe-Anker is an artist whose often whimsical paintings are rendered in vivid colour and rich texture inspired by her Montana upbringing. The marriage of Conrad Anker and Jenni Lowe grew from the aftermath of a 1999 avalanche that nearly killed Anker and did kill his best friend and Lowe’s then husband legendary climber Alex Lowe.

Her writing is luscious - you want to be lost in the romantic descriptions of the Montana mountains and wildlife. I felt myself identifying with the author due to her style of writing and because of her husband's letters.The way she describes the Tetons and Dolomites and Alps and the other places she climbed and lived with Alex have an artist and naturalist's flair and will make you long to live a similarly wild and authentic life. The dynamics of presenting their trip to the outside world (a necessary for sponsorship), rather than focusing on the core purpose of climbing itself, took away much of the joy of wilderness and nature and instead made it about performance and “me” culture.

As I went to go post this review, I was absolutely floored by some of the comments from other reviewers, stating they did not enjoy this masterpiece because they believed Alex's climbing was selfish and inconsiderate to his family, none the least, Jennifer.He accomplished a lot and after his death, Jen tries keeping all the memories, tracing his steps and fills in the gap for her 3 sons. Then eventually it grows into something blazing, which fixated me, and I was unable to step away from it. Maybe this is expected, though: it's easier to speak candidly about the distant past, less so about what's closer. Perhaps only together could the two of them heal their grief over losing a man they both loved so much. She herself was a skilled amateur climber, although she climbed much less as their three sons came along.

While those on the outside may never understand this lifestyle, Jennifer shows what it means to love someone as they are, although she certainly wasn't always happy that he frequently spent months away from home. So I guess this is more of a contemplation on Forget Me Not, a book I enjoyed immensely, and one that truly moved me.after losing my own love to a climb two yrs ago I decided to read this to work through some feelings and it delivered. The story of Alex Lowe in itself makes for an inspirational tale, but what shines in this book is the independent and free spirit of Jennifer. Alex Lowe death was caused by an Avalanche, a dream that his wife Jen had had a day before the trip.