Drinking Custard: The Diary of a Confused Mum

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She freaked and thought she was leaking custard because she had been addicted to drinking the stuff. I know I don’t really need to say this, given that she’s a comedian, but Lucy’s writing is so funny, and yet there is a great mix of the hilarious and those touching, emotional moments that come with being a parent – a child that doesn’t look back as they head into school is a testament to your abilities as a parent, but it sure is a dagger to the heart too! If you want a honest, funny, witty portrayal of what it’s like to be a parent then you have to read this book!

From when Lucy was hospitalised with indigestion in her third trimester (blame the burrito), to when she was *this close* to slapping her hypnobirthing instructor, to finding herself drinking a whole pint of custard in one sitting. and then realised that she is married to comedian Jon Richardson, I was happy to immerse myself in their childrearing experiences. There are some serious moments too, about hormones, the changes within her body whilst being pregnant and the challenges of those night feeds.

We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. That said, one of the anecdotes I did find funny was the idea of a toddler asking her gran for a breakfast smorgasbord. The programme is not true, though I think many of the ideas and characteristics of Jon and Lucy are close.

By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. My husband loves their TV programme but I find it a bit confusing as it obviously blends fact and fiction.The Mother and Baby Massage class, I strongly agree with her, it should be a class where the mothers get a lovely relaxing massage. After she and my youngest got their first taste of drinking custard, I realized I would probably never make a half batch. From TV’s award-winning comedy mum, Lucy Beaumont, comes her hilarious debut on the trials and tribulations of motherhood. She has appeared on numerous entertainment shows; Artsnight (BBC2), Jon Richardson: Ultimate Worrier (Dave), Alan Davies’ As Yet Untitled (Dave), QI (BBC2), Drunk History (Comedy Central), Jonathan Ross Show (ITV), The One Show (BBC1), Cats Does Countdown (C4), What’s Going to Kill Us (C5), Live At The Electric (BBC Three) and featured in a Maltesers advertising campaign. Another note, I failed to mention, she made meringue cookies out of the egg whites and they were served with the custard … hence no waste.

I can be quite sceptical about celeb books but Lucy comes across as so down to earth and relatable that I felt like I was sitting with a friend as I read.She has also appeared on numerous TV shows including 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown , Jonathan Ross , QI , Joe Lycett's Got Your Back , and Celebrity Gogglebox . You could still drink it thinner, though the FDA would say if it didn’t get hot enough it is more likely to be unsafe (though I think the odds are small–how many times have we all eaten raw cookie dough with egg). I had a large family, she made a gallon of this liquid lusciousness, and we drank it in small punch cups with never a drop left!

This means preparing local organic foods (but don't ask me to give up coffee), growing fun fruits and veggies (except when my CSAs do it better), and keeping a wishlist that includes backyard geese. She comes up with ten reasons why she wants a baby - which includes having a white carpet like in the adverts. The next goes on to her meeting and getting together with Jon, who adds “interruptions” through the book. The writing style is conversational and each section is broken up with different subheadings and the occasional aside. If your mantra is “children are like bodily smells - your own are ok but other people’s are distasteful”, I suggest you avoid.Not to be deterred, I tried her on blitzed kale - a mental thing to do but I had read that some babies love it and it sort of gets their taste buds ready for, well, living with Gwyneth Paltrow, I suppose. She remembers stories of her own birth while her mother was on holiday, some points of which she sends to her mother some time later to clarify points of confusion - just to make sure that family legends are actually true. If you are looking for tips on how to be a great, amazing, perfect parent then dear reader this book is not for you. Get ready to make room on mum's bookshelf for Drinking Custard to sit alongside other mum classics such as Why Mummy Drinks , Hurrah For Gin! Known for her sharp, witty and surreal view on everyday life, Lucy shares the unpredictable craziness of being a mum in this ‘mumoir’.