Not Safe For Work: Author of the viral essay 'My boyfriend, a writer, broke up with me because I am a writer'

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Not Safe for Work is definitely one of the harder-hitting books I’ve read in recent times, but that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it. Will I try to convince myself that if they are interested in supporting a critique of Hollywood, the ends will justify the means?

While I don’t want to talk too much about the detailed plot, I do want to describe the overall feel of the book. Not Safe for Work explores how women are victimised, judged and silenced and forever having to balance not speaking up when, for example, they’re abused or harassed, if the person who did it to them is more powerful. I thought it was important that even characters that were very in touch what what was acceptable or not fell into that trap.

Do I actually care enough about these systemic issues or am I also, in a way, exploiting them as literary material for my own professional gain? Otherwise, too many people will remain silent because they will decide it’s not worth the discomfort and emotional fallout of making a fuss about a minor comment. Though I’m passed that in my life now, this book brought back all the feelings of realising that the world is hard, you have no idea what you’re doing and you question everything you thought you knew about the people in your life. Maybe that’s the fun of it – sitting on the couch, internally/externally willing someone to spot the creep(s).

Recommended if you’re looking for something like Devil Wears Prada, not too deep but a nice entry into further reading. My plan was to work my way into the halls of power and then fling the doors open wide for those who had been excluded. I thought it was so insightful, even though it was about a subject that as a female, we can all relate to, we all understand and a lot of us have probably had some experience of. The nuances of our lead character’s co-dependent, majoritively toxic, mother-daughter relationship are also looked at in depth and reveal how much this affects all areas of both of their lives.But certain gendered instincts – people pleasing, playing peacemaker, considering another person’s comfort a precondition for my own – served me well. This read like The Devil Wears Prada set in Hollywood, as she starts off thinking that this is a job to tide her over, get her mother to stop bugging her and then she’ll get a real job.

I was complimented for having “good energy”, and my “niches” were identified as “women” and “books”. I thought the project had a lot of promise and wanted to see if there was anything I could do to push it forward. You know, the kind of uncle who spends a little too much time with the young women and gives goodbye kisses that land too close to the mouth. It’s an ugly truth, and one that’s difficult to discuss in the nuanced way it deserves, but women are often better foot soldiers of the patriarchy than men.I heard sexist and racist comments and fumed silently, exchanging outraged instant messages with other assistants.

I don’t know how the daughter (I keep saying daughter as she was unnamed in the book) kept her patience and was mostly able to stay polite and courteous as I think I would have cut ties very early on. Rumours start to circulate around the office that there are sexual predators working amongst them and the realisation sets in that there is a lot to lose by speaking out and plenty to gain by staying quiet. When I started the job, one of the projects represented by my agency was under option with a production company where I knew a senior executive. I felt personally that I’m just a little bit out of the age range for this as some of the situations in the book were fairly obviously on the way and she just didn’t seem to pick up on the cues. It’s a high-wire balancing act of mixed messaging – no easy feat, but I have so many years of practice.I was a teeny tiny bit disappointed with the open ending but hopefully it means that there may be more to come as I would love to read more about these characters and their lives. Throwing items in the office, and particularly in the direction of your employees, is now off limits.