Emergency Questions: 1001 conversation-savers for any situation

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Meanwhile, if you want to read a very passionately argued feature all about exactly why I love the Absolute Beginners soundtrack so much, then that can be found here. If I could understand why I find them so hysterical, then frankly I’d understand a lot more about myself. Clearly both Roast Beef and Pickled Onion – especially in its original highly potent incarnation, with a stench that spread across playgrounds like chemical warfare – are not without their merits, but this short-stay late eighties slash early nineties variant – promoted, of course, by ‘Blue Monster’ – was the finest of the lot. If you had to be anally violated by a popular chocolate bar, if you had to, which chocolate bar would you choose to be inserted in your anus?

This has been the subject of much physics-fuelled debate, but I remain convinced that the Camberwick Green Clown is actually turning that handle the wrong way. Would you rather be able to stop time and rewind your life twenty seconds, but only once per day, or touch God’s cock? Now updated with new answers from: David Mitchell, Sara Pascoe, Charlie Brooker and Stephen Fry, among others! Do you think they’ll ever make a Hunger Games- style film, but based around the ITV daytime quiz show Tipping Point ?I’d love to get hold of some old-style pre-crunchy Ringos and prove to people a) that they existed and b) that they were superior to the early to mid eighties redesign. Have you ever taken part in an identity parade, either trying to pick out the criminal being one of the people who isn’t the criminal or being the alleged criminal? You would have a lifetime’s worth of [ unclear ] celebrity hair growing on whatever part of the body it initially grew on, or nearest equivalent.

The second is a weirdly memorable sigh of irritated resignation from John Cleese in the original television version of the Parrot Sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus, back in the days when he was hilariously sending up selfish small-minded people who oddly consider themselves intellectually superior to everyone else when every single anecdote they relate seems to prove the exact opposite, rather than making eight million episode documentary series for Channel 4 about how anyone who isn’t a white middle class male is very very mean to them and won’t let them have, say, an eight million episode documentary series for Channel 4. What do you think is the enduring appeal of dressing up as the 118 running men from those old 118 adverts? I mean, sure there were minstrels during the Middle Ages, but is that what Galaxy names the chocolates after? Would you rather have pubic hair made of unremovable barbed wire or to be attacked by a rabid badger in your sleep once a week?What would you rather find at the end of the universe: Candy Land or Pink, Purple, and Pinky-Purple Land? What musical instrument that you don’t know how to play do you think you could pick up right now and have a pretty good crack at? If you could travel back to any historical period – not just your finger, all of you – A) Where would go if you could go back one time to one historical place in time, where would you go? A narrow escape for the Wee Stuart Anderson-faced star of Channel 4’s A Stab In The Dark there as we did just about manage to avert this – though the couple of weeks where there was no option but to resort to Pecorino instead must have had him checking the rear view mirror on a regular basis – but you really would have thought that the “WHATS THE MATTER WITH YER, YER CAN EAT GRAVY AND OLD COPIES OF THE DANDY LIKE YER NANA USED TO HAVE, IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER WHYS IT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU” brigade might have shut their boring unimaginative traps by now. Is there a catchphrase from an old TV show or advert hardly anyone remembers that you still use on a regular basis?