Joined in 2023 
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You’re worrying about your hardwood floor, not that you have one, not that you’re even sure exactly what one is. And if you did have one, why would you have a shitty carpet covering it up? But you know it means something, a hardwood floor, and you don’t want that rotting away. You don’t want the smell soaking into it. How about those sweaters that can’t go in the tumble dryer? You know the ones taking up space in the hot press for days, turning it into a steam room, coming out covered in mushrooms? Or hogging the banisters on the landing for a week, always damp under the armpits? Take that jumper, roll it up in the Shammy. Fifteen minutes later it’s ready to wear. It’s never happened though. Not once in over a decade. Isn’t that amazing? You should believe me. This truth I have, I have it from experience, I’m not making this shit up. Everyone wants something for free. Guess what? Full marks. No one gets something for free. Not on my watch anyhoo. Guess what? The kid likes to give it a go. I told him to, early on, when there was no crowd, just schoolchildren wandering around. I threw him in at the deep end. Kids are the pits. You get one over on a kid, you’re a magician, and they never have any money. What’s the point right? So I told the kid to put on the headset. He’d been watching me for months, heard the patter a thousand times. Hey. Miracle Shammy. You wanna buy one? Bet I can sell you one. You wanna fold your arms and stare me out? I don’t care, I’ll sell one to someone else. Jog on fella, jog on.
The FRYAIR Air Fryer Deluxe Accessory pack - Pitch Gurus UK Ltd
Want to see the most absorbent material on the planet? Doesn’t look like much, this peach rectangle. Come and hold it if you want to. Don’t be shy, no one ever went no place being shy. Just to be clear, this gentleman here didn’t hear me a second ago. The single most absorbent material on the planet. I’ll give you one fact about it, before I tell you some more. It’s machine washable. Imagine that. The most absorbent material on earth, NASA use it, industry professionals won’t touch anything else, you see the Olympic Games? The German swimmers, what are they using for towels? This stuff. And when you’re done just throw it in the machine, let it dry on the line. I never get a laugh, but I get sympathetic smiles, for making an effort. Or people laugh at me. None of this matters. Wait for it, you’ll see why.
Get the most out of your ePromo Miracle Shammy
Some gent in Hereford called me garrulous. I don’t know what that means, maybe you do. But it suits me fine. He smiled when he said it, two rolls of Shammies under his tweedy arm. But more than likely, they’re buying. They’re reasonable, they wanted one. They’re getting three for free, it’s only fair that they contribute. There’s a logic to it that most people won’t refuse. Fair is fair. They’re embarrassed about trying to cheat the system. And once one has sold, watch the line form up, and the more people buying, the more people want to buy. It’s logical. It’s sensible. These people are all getting Shammies, do I want to be the only muggins going home without one? Tell you something special. Often people will join the queue who weren’t even in the crowd. Isn’t that neat? They’ll be buying two rolls of Shammies, not even sure what they are. No one wants to miss out.
The FRYAIR Air Fryer use air instead of Oil - Pitch Gurus UK Ltd
For cleaning windows and mirrors, make sure that your Shammy is thoroughly broken in – the more you use it, the better it gets! Pull in one direction only for a streak free effect. But you like the idea of a family business. You like the idea of healthy competition, we like the idea of success. You buy into it. Baking Cage – Use the baking cage to cook french fries, wedges, roasted root veges, prawns or any other foods that require constant turning to achieve even cooking. Now look under the carpet. Whatever you got with the paper towel, that’s not even the problem, look under the carpet. Up it comes, a big pool’s sitting there. That’s what’s sitting on your hardwood floor. That’s what’s turning your bodywork to rust.Remember, the ePromo Miracle Shammy is most absorbent when damp – yet polishes and buffs best when dry. He didn’t want to go again straight away. He knew the old lady was batshit crazy, didn’t want to jinx it. But the next time we were out he improved. The penny had finally dropped right. He ate a big thing of cotton candy and bought himself a burger and fries. Didn’t have to share the sandwiches from out of my grub box that day. Hardwood floors – they don’t have too many of them in Doncaster, but they get the same treatment as everywhere else. I get my square of carpet out, have to change it every so often, but it lasts a while. I have a bunch of them in a bag in the van. Beige, medium pile. The most important prop. But let’s pretend together. You don’t want a pool of it under your landlord’s carpet, smell up the place for months and then cost you the deposit. Brings me on to my favourite type of animal. That’s right, the party animal. We all know him, right? Drinks all your 12-year-old scotch, can’t handle it, then dumps it all over the floor?
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