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The Best Ever Book of Liverpool Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?" Queen Elizabeth sat through Hitler, the Cold war, and the threat of Nuclear war but watching Ronaldo play in the Europa League is where she drew the line. Posting under an update issued by Lifestyles Fitness Centres, Kellie Owens said: "I'd like to say thanks to Paul for absolutely everything you have done for me. I couldn't even lift a weight properly or knew really what I was doing. You have helped me so much and pushed me further every week. Receive newsletters with the latest news, sport and what's on updates from the Liverpool ECHO by signing up here

Rebecca Devin wrote: "We have lost a true legend. Lost for words, what a lovely friend. I feel privileged to have known him and got to know his amazing personality. He was everyone's friend and made everyone feel so welcome. Totally devastated and miss him so much already."Presentations? I understand maybe one or two but there were maybe four or five? Again, you look at half-time, a couple players walking down the tunnel and having a laugh and a joke at Anfield - you’re here to work. This is serious business, this is big boy stuff.

But because he is dying they accept and get him a shirt. After the old man put on the Man Utd shirt, one of his friends asks him why he changes the team right before he dies. Paul McHugh, a gym instructor at Lifestyles Alsop Fitness Centre in Walton, died suddenly on Saturday night (October 21) after coming home from the Liverpool v Everton match. Paul, 37, had a four-year-old daughter called Sienna and had recently bought a house in West Derby with his partner Megan.The Spurs fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. Arsenal Football Club, founded in 1886, is one of the most celebrated football teams in England, boasting a rich history in the Premier League and notable successes in both domestic and international competitions. Based in North London, the club has a passionate global fanbase and is recognized for its distinctive red and white colors, as well as its long-standing rivalry with Tottenham Hotspur.

While this is commonly used by scouse nans - usually when asking their granddaughter what their fella's been up to - it can also be thrown about as an insult, with varying degrees of malice depending on the situation. Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.

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I just said to Martínez that I was sorry FOUR that. He said I'm not in the mood for jokes. I said I am, we just demolished you. From things overheard in the chippy to some absolute gold from Scouse nans, these are the moments that show Scousers really have got the best sense of humour around.

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