On Becoming a Person

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Rogers came to his profession with the assumption that he would be the superior practitioner 'solving' the problems of whoever came to see him. But he began to realize that this model was rarely effective, and that progress depended more on the depth of understanding and openness between the two people sitting in the consulting room. He was strongly influenced by Martin Buber, the existential philosopher, and his notion of 'confirming the other’. This meant fully affirming the potential of a person, the ability to see what he or she ’has been created to become’. The person-centered approach (e.g., Client-centered therapy, Student-centered learning, Rogerian argument) If you remember well, Sartre’s main idea was rather simply formulated: in humans, “existence precedes essence,” i.e., there is no blueprint on how a human should look like (essence), so we are in charge of the meaning of our own lives (existence). Incongruence is “a discrepancy between the actual experience of the organism and the self-picture of the individual insofar as it represents that experience.

Reliability and constructiveness: they can be trusted to act constructively. An individual who is open to all their needs will be able to maintain a balance between them. Even aggressive needs will be matched and balanced by intrinsic goodness in congruent individuals. Examples of unconditional positive regard in counseling involve the counselor maintaining a non-judgmental stance even when the client displays behaviors that are morally wrong or harmful to their health or well-being.And understanding does mean – almost always – not judging, even if some things seem to you wrong or stupid. This method involves removing obstacles so the client can move forward, freeing him or her for normal growth and development. By using non-directive techniques, Rogers assisted people in taking responsibility for themselves. Experiencing moments of flow, where one is fully immersed and engaged in an activity that brings a sense of joy, purpose, and fulfillment. With regard to development, Rogers described principles rather than stages. The main issue is the development of a self-concept and the progress from an undifferentiated self to being fully differentiated.

Rogers quotes two authors – Abraham Maslow and Ashley Montagu – as the “solitary voices” of protest against the widely accepted notion that “man is irrational, unsocialized, destructive of others and self.” Rogers was intelligent and could read well before kindergarten. Following an education in a strict religious and ethical environment as an altar boy at the vicarage of Jimpley, he became rather isolated, independent and disciplined, and acquired knowledge and an appreciation for the scientific method in a practical world. At the University of Wisconsin–Madison, where he was a member of the fraternity Alpha Kappa Lambda, his first career choice was agriculture, followed by history and then religion. In Kierkegaard’s eyes – recaps Rogers – because we can choose to be what we want to, “the most common despair is to be in despair at not choosing, or willing, to be oneself.” And you can do even worse: “the deepest form of despair is to choose ‘to be another than himself.’”Any experience that is inconsistent with the organization of the structure of the self may be perceived as a threat, and the more of these perceptions there are, the more rigidly the self structure is organized to maintain itself. That’s it, Rogers realized: all we need to live a more fulfilled life is to feel that our desires and actions are normal!

In other words, if you can be whatever you want to be, what you are at the moment is exactly what you are not (statistically, let’s say that’s only about 1% of your potential realized and you still have 99% to go). Specifically, the individualistic focus on developing uniqueness, fulfilling one’s capacities, and prioritizing personal growth over social belonging may not generalize across cultures.Optimal development, as referred to in proposition 14, results in a certain process rather than static state. Rogers calls this the good life, where the organism continually aims to fulfill its potential. He listed the characteristics of a fully functioning person (Rogers 1961): [26] Open to experience: both positive and negative emotions accepted. Negative feelings are not denied, but worked through (rather than resorting to ego defense mechanisms). Even if you are a psychotherapist. The Good Life Is About Becoming, and Becoming Is About Fulfilling Your Potential Two primary sources that influence our self-concept are childhood experiences and evaluation by others. Rogers, C. R., Stevens, B., Gendlin, E. T., Shlien, J. M., & Van Dusen, W. (1967). Person to person: The problem of being human: A new trend in psychology. Lafayette, CA: Real People Press.