Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: Because Good Guys Make the Best Lovers

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Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox. Wear it in an elegant way that keeps some mystery for yourself and the beholder,’ advises designer Michelle Duncan, whose S/S ’22 collection included a hot-pink bralette worn with a matching double-breasted blazer. Whether you’re into Miu Miu’s micro proportions or the teeniest tummy glimpse, the only non-negotiable addition to your bralette/bandeau/bikini top is confidence. When I was researching my book, to find out ways of keeping your sex life exciting after having kids, psychotherapist and sex expert Esther Perel suggested the person who is feeling deprived (in my case, my husband) should create ‘space’ where sex could happen, but doesn’t have to. I’m always worried about not getting enough sleep, so my husband puts the kids to bed earlier, to create space in our day where sex might or might not happen. Feeling free of obligation relaxes me and more often than not, sex happens.”

While we’re on driving, let’s talk about commutes. And cubicles. And computers. And the demands and distractions of our daily lives. I thought originally it would just be swapping the gendered chapters for more on orgasm, but as I read through the book I found that I now talk differently about just about everything–mental load; communication; obligation. So I ended up rewriting pretty much the entire thing! Broaching the subject of sex can be difficult for some people, but it should get easier once you begin. And as an added bonus, you may find that just talking about sex can make you feel sexy. Long-term desire is built on a foundation of novelty. Otherwise erotic energy will naturally dissipate for most couples. Trying new things is the key to keeping the fire going. 4. Foreplay Should Start Days Beforehand A lot of women are very responsive to a man’s voice during lovemaking,” Davidson says. “If a man has verbal facility and can entice a woman through his voice, that can become a powerful part of his repertoire.

When I wrote the original version, I was trying to balance four things.

Or it can be a side-effect of some prescription medication. So it’s important to muster the courage to see your GP. Verze, P. et al. “The Link Between Cigarette Smoking and Erectile Dysfunction: A Systematic Review,” European Urology Focus (2015) 1:39. Do you want to try new sexual experiences with your partner, but don’t know how to tell them? Maybe you’re afraid they’ll judge you, or it’s just too awkward. If that’s the case, Persimmon recommends this “ Yes, No, Maybe” list. As most of you know, on March 15 I have two books launching–The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, which I wrote with my husband, and a completely revised Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, which will be 10 years old this March. I never originally planned to write a book about sex.

The classic Playboy magazine grad (and later Penthouse Pet) Victoria Zdrok is promoted to professional psychologist in this Penthouse programmer (she has the actual academic credentials to qualify), undoubtedly forgotten but worth a peek. I've been watching many dozens of these Penthouse videos cranked out nearly a decade ago, and they hold up very well, thank you, compared to today's gonzo junk. The sex ed I had made sex into something that was merely physical, about climax. That put so much pressure on both of us, and then when sex hurt me, it seemed like everything was crashing down. To help you out of any bedroom lulls nutritionist Sarah Flower reveals her top tips on what foods you can consume to help turn you on — and what foods to avoid to prevent turning off.

Over the years, as I’ve listened more and done even more research, I knew that things had to change with The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.

We've found five of the sexiest games to turn a routine raunch session into a mind-blowing experience. If you’re like a lot of men, chances are it wasn’t. At least, the sex wasn’t as good as you think it could have been. Improve mental and physical health. Sex can burn fat, cause the brain to release endorphins, and drastically reduce anxiety. A good sex life—at any age—involves a lot more than just sex. It's also about intimacy and touch, things anyone can benefit from. Even if you have health problems or physical disabilities, you can engage in intimate acts and benefit from closeness with another person. Martin, C.K. et al. “Effect of Calorie Restriction on Mood, Quality of Life, Sleep, and Sexual Function in Healthy Non-obese Adults: The CALERIE 2 Randomized Clinical Trial,” JAMA Internal Medicine (2016) 176:743.

She suggests that couples read from erotic books together, especially if they want to work on developing a "dirty talk" vocabulary that gives them the language cues without feeling self-conscious. Reading off scripts, she says, never works as well as if couples find a book they really like together and can build off of that jargon. 8. Experiment with Toys and PropsLovehoney's sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight discusses how to ensure that your sexual happiness is the main priority for you and your partner. She shares her 7 most underrated, but essential, sex tips which may seem obvious, but are the key to getting the basics right. Increase your activity level. Bumping up your general level of activity will benefit your sex drive by increasing your energy and sense of well-being. Change your routine. Simple, creative changes can improve your sex life. Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when you have more energy. For example, try being intimate in the morning rather than at the end of a long day. She highlighted that due to something called “arousal non-concordance”, physical signs of arousal sometimes won’t sync up with mental arousal right away. “If a partner says they’re super turned on, but they’re not lubricated or don’t have an erection, it doesn’t mean they’re not turned on,” she says.

I am currently reading the Good Guys Guide with my husband, and it is really good! I wish we had this book when we were first married! You were addled with anxiety, plagued by concerns over your performance, and worried about the worthiness of your physique during lovemaking. Even if the act achieved the idealized heights of a Hollywood screenplay -- your partner melted at your touch, you thundered like a stallion, you writhed in unison to volcanic climax -- you still harbor suspicions: You’re pretty much certain you’re not getting it as often as everyone else. Maybe you're looking to boost your erections, strengthen your orgasms, and last longer in bed, or perhaps you're trying to amp up your skills when it comes to pleasing your partner. Maybe you're curious about exploring anal play, want to know which sex toys are best for couples, or like to learn how to bring up your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies with your partner. Perhaps your sex life has grown stale, and you want to dabble in some BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) or are even considering finding a third to play with. Whatever it is, we almost certainly have advice that can help.

I never originally planned to write a book about sex.

If this is going to change, she says, we need to rethink our definition of sex, which is often seen as a penetrative act. Not only is this exclusionary, according to the largest- ever study into the female orgasm – conducted by Indiana University researchers – just 18% of women orgasm through penetration alone. If any health issues come up for either partner, why not embark on a diet and fitness plan together? Teaming up like this and spending more time together will have the benefit of increasing intimacy and lifting mood. Oral stimulation is a pivotal part of sex for many of us, particularly for women who are more likely to orgasm through oral stimulation versus penetrative stimulation. In fact, a recent survey showed that only 60% of us usually achieve orgasm during intercourse. Try to spend at least two days a week enjoying your own body. This will improve your sex life, because your partner is not a mind reader. When you know exactly how you like to be touched, you can better communicate your desires to your partner. 6. Have an Orgasm Before Penetration