The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

Product Information

So in 2007 I started this blog and forum with Dr. Hallowell to share what I had learned. This information is important, marriage-saving information. Why should you have to figure it out on your own and reinvent the wheel? This book is my organized way of collecting the most important things that you need to know to not only identify the patterns that ADHD creates in your marriage but what you need to both survive and then thrive the way my husband and I did. Trying harder doesn’t create change. If you want to salvage your relationship, you need to do something radically different.

Misconceptions abound regarding ADHD, especially ADHD in adults. For those who discredit the legitimacy of an ADHD diagnosis or deny that ADHD affects every aspect of a person's life, this book will offer both a scientific and personal perspective on what ADHD is and how it disrupts marriages -- often without detection. My DH has refused to invest in the thousands of dollars over the course of the first year that therapy or coaching for him, therapy for me re: eggshell/walking living, and the all important therapy for the marriage would require. He became (apparently predictably) depressed, when, once medicated, he began to take in his large part in our difficulties. It had been his pattern all through the years to dismiss and blame me, and now I expected real improvement, and it seemed valid, yet overwhelming. His behavior became more passive-aggressive and deteriorated to the point I could no longer live in the same household, for my own sanity, waiting for a "good moment" with him, much less anything requiring compassion and forethought. He doesn't believe in the available help, after so many costly therapy sessions that went nowhere. He's tired & hopeless before he really began. I am going through a difficult divorce now, yet believe it must be for the best.I am the ADHD (male) spouse. This book is directed more at the non-ADHD spouse, and contains great advice. So I highly recommend it for the non-ADHD spouse. My non-ADHD spousev had found it to be very helpful, and, as she progresses through each section, putting recommendations into action already facilitating improvements in our marital relationship.

If you want a book that will help you finally understand why your spouse acts in certain ways and how you can make their lives and your own life better going forward then read it. If your spouse also reads it, great. But even if only you read it, you're enlightening yourself.Ms. Orlov's book provides what many leave out - empathy for both partners. She offers a no-blame, nonjudgmental account of the differences and struggles of each partner, with equal amounts of respect, understanding, and empathy for the experience of both. This is a recipe for success for all partnerships. This book provides an incredibly valuable service to those struggling in a marriage with ADHD. Written by someone who has been there and knows firsthand how ADHD can disrupt a marriage, it will help couples truly understand ADHD, realize they are not alone, and teach them what specifically can be done to align together as a team to turn things around. Ms. Orlov has done a wonderful job of providing knowledge, awareness, and hope to those who sorely need it." On the other side of the relationship, the person without ADHD tries hard to adjust to their partner’s unreliable, chaotic tendencies. They saddle themselves with more responsibilities and do their best to let go of grievances. But this leaves them feeling exhausted, resentful, and hopeless. We adore this book! It's a comprehensive guide to dealing with the impact of ADHD on your marriage without making either partner wrong. Readers will find a wealth of information and support as well as practical tips, exercises, and stories. Our hats off to Melissa Orlov for writing this much-needed book."