Reasons Not to Worry: How to be Stoic in chaotic times

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You are less inclined to hold on to grudges if you imagine that your friend may suddenly die – and you will be more inclined to make the most of the time you have. “Let us greedily enjoy our friends,” said Seneca, as we should also enjoy our children, “because we do not know how long this privilege will be ours”.

If we treat most events in a neutral way we are less likely to get upset by things that happen. 3. Money, health and reputation are out of your control If you weren’t invited to something, they saw it as a test of character to not be bitter or unhappy. Epictetus advised, “If these things are good, you ought to be glad he has gotten them; and if they are evil, don’t be grieved that you have not got them.” Epictetus – whose handbook was published in c.125 CE – wrote: “Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.” There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond our power or our will,” said Epictetus. The only things within our control are our character, our actions and responses and how we deal with others. When something is out of your control, then you need to let the anxiety go and let the situation take its course. Marcus Aurelius instructed us to “not be overwhelmed by what you imagine, but just do what you can and should”. This means not being lost in reveries of the past or fantasies and fears of the future, and just dealing with what is in front of you right now.

By leaving things alone, by not getting worked up, we are not adding to the toxic load of disagreement, hate and fury online, which of course seeps into people’s real life. Be OK with being wrong Reasons Not to Worry is both an introduction and an interrogation of Stoicism. With acute thoughtfulness and a genial lightness, Delaney convinces us that this ancient philosophy is still relevant and necessary. I appreciated the kindness in this book and I was grateful for the care and commitment and joy of the writing and argument." — Christos Tsiolkas, author of Damascus and Seven and a Half Levi. “To dwell on hunger and to hope for food is to subject oneself to mental torture as sufficient food will never be offered.”

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond our power or our will,” wrote Epictetus. In Reasons Not to Worry, Brigid shares what she learned, showing us how we, too, can draw on the Stoics to regain a sense of agency and tranquility and find meaning in our lives. From learning to relinquish control to cultivating daily awareness of our mortality to building community, Brigid’s insights are very funny and very wise. You cannot control what happens around you, but you can control your own actions and reactions; (but obviously please let me have a book rant when I need to lol) She writes about her show being out on Netflix and going for celebratory drinks as an example of needing to be relaxed. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and stoic philosopher, had this problem. He wrote in his diary as a reminder: “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

The article talks about famous (American?) contemporary neo-Stoics who have had to ensnare themselves in a market logic that prioritises simplistic, arousing, extreme and polarising content. It goes on to argue that these neo stoics are marketing a military-type vibe of self-discipline and suppression of emotion, invoking 'a warped kind of masculine ideal.'

Christmas.’ And Christmas would come and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And With ataraxia, not only do you not ruin your own day, you avoid ruining other people’s too. In a tranquil state you may even make better decisions.That is, you can accept other people are annoying or horrible. At the same time, you can accept they are human, just like you are, and will contain good along with the bad. Although in my book, I debate whether desire really is in our control (I mean, c’mon – what about hormones?), the control test is remarkably effective at assessing what we should and shouldn’t expect to be able to control in life. This knowledge is liberating.