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The kind of book you will find yourself saying urgently, over and over, to friends. 'Have you read it? Have you read it?'" - Caitlin Moran Jacob doesn’t recognise Abi, he wants nothing to do with her. My husband has been left with STML, all our shared memories have gone, it’s a real conversation killer!! This novel is full of clinical details that will be so useful for Nursing and Medical staff in these situations. I fully intend to buy copies for our local teaching hospital library, to say thanks for all their skilled care of my husband.
When you think you're going to die, it becomes very clear what you need to stay alive, and you don’t need as much as you think The screenwriter Abi Morgan, best known for the films The Iron Lady, Shame and Suffragette and more recently for the much-loved BBC series The Split, works in a small flat above a perfumery in Islington, north London. Its rooms, pale and sleekly minimalist, not only smell lovely, the rose geranium and vetiver floating obligingly upwards; they’re also, for a writer, extraordinarily tidy. The casual visitor would not think for a single moment of fraught commissioning meetings and hurtling deadlines were it not for the little squares of paper that line one wall, on which the episodes of her latest project are neatly summarised. But like everything about Morgan, this tranquility is, perhaps, deceptive. While she, too, exudes a warm, outward calm, her interest extending to everyone she meets, inwardly it’s a different story. Sometimes, it’s as if a bomb has gone off deep inside her. “I am both absolutely the same and profoundly changed,” she says, sitting at her white table, turning her white coffee cup in her hand. One afternoon, Abi Morgan returned home to find her longtime partner and father to their two kids collapsed on the bathroom floor. Jacob, who had been undergoing treatment for multiple sclerosis, had suddenly experienced a series of seizures and had to be put into a medically induced coma. As he slowly regained consciousness after six months, he made tentative steps to communicate with those around him, and grappled with the host of issues that had been triggered by the damage caused to his brain. But while Jacob recognized his family and friends, he didn't believe that the Abi standing in front of him—who had sat by his hospital bed, juggled care of their children, and liaised with his slew of doctors as he slipped between life and death—was in fact his Abi. Instead, he saw a woman whom he believed to be an imposter. When the partner of Emmy Award–winning screenwriter Abi Morgan abruptly collapsed from a mysterious illness, doctors were concerned that he would not survive. Then, six months later, Jacob woke from his coma, to the delight and relief of his family and friends—except this proved to be anything but a Hollywood ending. Because to Jacob, the woman standing at his bedside, who had cared for him all these months, was not his partner. Not his children’s mother. Not the woman he loved. Sure, she looked like his Abi, but this was an imposter, living someone else’s life.
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A moving memoir from the award-winning screenwriter and playwright Abi Morgan about what happens when the person you love most no longer recognizes you.
The book was hyped as being about what it was like for the author to have her partner come out of a 6 month coma and treat her as a stranger. This is Capgras syndrome where someone believes that their partner or friend etc has been replaced by a double. But this is not mentioned in any blurb or review I read, but it is once in the book. It is rare, I did know about it and thought it must be distressing to be declared the 'imposter'. I didn't know in advance, that it was going to be a Capgras issue.In response Morgan says: ‘I am so embarrassed. I am found out. “Me,” I want to shout. “I want to read it. Me.” But I don’t.’ Perhaps one reason why I loved this book so much is because it really delivered on both these counts. Morgan writes so compellingly about the worst period in her life and often employs her expertise as a screenwriter by highlighting the moments that she would cut if she was writing a film, the elements of real life that wouldn’t have made it to the screen because of their messiness or inconvenience as a plot point. On one hand, as a fellow writer, this felt a little bit like being granted a masterclass from Morgan herself but simultaneously there was a very moving element of watching the author desperately try to make sense of her life in the way she knew best. She talks within the memoir of not having been sure how to tell the story - that she considered making a play before COVID hit and made that untenable. Possibly cut with a montage to include the walk on Primrose Hill with my mum and Mabel and ice-skating at Somerset House in those last days of December. My husband collapsed after his first Covid 19 jab, he spent three weeks in hospital with blood clots to the brain, spine and feet. A year later, we are told, no new progress can be achieved, brutally harsh.
It really happened. And what no one tells you about proper unfolding tragedy is that it is scary, and adrenalizing. The trauma of Morgan’s life has seeped into The Split – particularly the third and final series, which concluded this week. “I think it’s filled with a lot of the pain, a lot of the passion of what I’ve gone through,” she says. It also teaches us about being grateful for the things we have and the strength of the human spirit when they are hammered with tragic situations yet still find the heart to pull through. It also gives us an appreciation for all the caretakers out there, the ones who took care of people during Covid, and the families and friends who care for their loved ones selflessly. I was in two minds about buying this book - whilst I love Abi Morgan’s work, I thought this could only prove to be a harrowing picture of the family’s life and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on that journey with Abi and her family. But then, she’s a glorious writer, so what the hell, if anyone could make this material transformative, it’s Abi Morgan!
Lest I’ve made this book sound like an unrelenting gallop through misery, I’d also like to highlight how funny and witty is it. There’s the aforementioned dinner party, with the drunk girl becoming ever drunker and more irritating. There’s Jacob and Abi’s burgeoning love story, complete with unexpected baby and fusing of cultural traditions. There are snapshots of family life - Jacob’s enthusiasm for adventure, his relationship with his children and his talent of acting. As someone who often feels alienated by cultural references in books it was also a delight to finally feel totally seen as Morgan shares her family’s love of theatre, exploring Judaism and Tim Minchin lyrics. Spears’ vulnerability shines through as she describes her painful journey from vulnerable girl to empowered woman. She met Jacob at a party. She’d always vowed not to get involved with an actor, but there he was: they collided with “absolute velocity”. By their fifth date, he’d virtually moved in. Their relationship wasn’t without its complications – their daughter was a baby when they first had counselling – but she was also certain about him, this energetic, joy-chaser of a man. Her parents (her mother is the actor Pat England, her father the theatre director Gareth Morgan) divorced when she was small, though they remained friendly, and somehow this has worked in her favour. “I’ve always felt less, rather than more, likely to separate,” she says. “Though I am curious about the legacy of divorce, for children.” There's no denying that Morgan went through a lot. Her partner of 20 years (and father of her two children), Jacob, has MS. He took an experimental drug and developed anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis that left him in a coma. When he woke up, he didn't recognize her and declared her an imposter (Capgras syndrome). In the meantime, she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent treatment. If this work is made into a screenplay, I hope it wins awards - and for Jacob I hope those award ceremonies bring cake, lots and lots of cake!
The kind of book you will find yourself saying urgently, over and over, to friends: 'Have you read it?' CAITLIN MORAN Abi’s husband Jacob, collapses after a drug that he was taking to control his MS, is withdrawn. He spends a year recovering, the results are devastating for the family and Jacob. The author was concerned about building a life for the future together, with a man who would forever need carers, be physically-challenged and never be able to be intimate again. I do admire her for these efforts of building a life without passion, without even possibly sharing a bed again. Carer, parent and friend, but not lover - not an easy choice for a future. I understand 'for better for worse' but they weren't, in fact, married. A powerful, fragmented journey through brain injury. This book will especially appeal to Morgan's fans, and to those who have experienced similar journeys." - Library JournalThis is one of those memoirs that everyone needs to read. The author was so honest and I can’t even imagine going through what she did. This book had me tearing up so much and at the end I finally cried. Gosh this book broke me. I don’t really have anything to say other than read it if you enjoy memoirs or if you want something emotional. I always struggle with reviewing/rating memoirs because it's important to remember these are true stories. These authors are sharing their lives with us and who am I to say it was boring/uninteresting just because I didn’t connect with it? A remarkable story, certainly, and one worth reading about (if only through a couple of long magazine articles), but not a stand-out memoir for me. What a talent, what a career, what a life, and what a treat to relive it all with this most down-to-earth of demigods. But really, what she has learned has mostly to do with love. “Let’s be honest. I’m a tufty-haired, one-breasted, fiftysomething woman who’s got a few Baftas and yes, that’s brilliant. But life also goes in cycles. I am not the big I-am. I think my greatest fear is to end up some old buffer at Bafta. Being with Jake, and what we went through as a family, has changed us. We have a greater appreciation of each other. We’ve seen each other at our worst moments. I didn’t realise I loved Jake so much – that’s the biggest revelation. It’s such a platitude, isn’t it, love? But… this hum. That’s the only way I can describe it. I just have this hum for Jake that I don’t have for anyone else.” But this is not a pity memoir. It's about meeting your person. And crazed late night Google trawls. It's about the things you wished you'd said to the person that matters then wildly over-sharing with the barista who doesn't know you at all. It's about sushi and the wrong shoes and the moments you want to shout 'cut'. It's about the silence when you are lost in space and the importance of family and parties and noise.