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I opted for a crawl back up the beach like a jungle commando dodging enemy fire, my face a few inches from the sand. And splashing through the surf in the buff is an exhilarating blast of bliss that will stay with you for ever.
Most of the female nudists were flaunting elaborately bejewelled vajazzles (glittery pubes) or a regulation Brazilian, which resembles a landing strip for a mosquito.I could imagine the tide taking one look at my naked body, going back out and then refusing to come in again.
The main upside to getting older is learning to love the skin you’re in and the knowledge that it’s pointless worrying about your figure because body fads come in one era .For example, when I was growing up, skinniness was inniness, but today a full derriere is de rigueur. And speaking of bottoms, did my sis and I care if ours jiggled and wiggled when we played sunset Frisbee with nearby nudists on our final day?
He’d clearly been inspired by those African tribeswomen who wear rings on their necks to aid elongation.The most important advice to remember on a nudist beach is to slather factor 50 sunscreen on everything; otherwise you’ll soon have a hotter arse than Kim Kardashian. Well I was in Sydney recently visiting family when my sister Liz inquired what I’d say if she asked me to go to a nudist beach. But the lush landscape, 18-mile stretch of silica sand, crystalline ocean and famous blues music and literary festivals soon attracted A-listers. Forget whale watching; my binoculars were on the lookout for Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman et al. Because what a nudist beach teaches you is that there’s only one vital quality for a backside — that you never, ever talk out of it.
Not wanting to appear prudish, I gritted my teeth, feigned nonchalance, shed my shorts and dive-bombed face down onto my towel in one deft movement — which merely resulted in a grazed nose and a bit of seaweed up my freckle. I’d also been worried Liz was going to force-feed me Goopy Gwynnie-type bone broth with the occasional nibble of organic, nonirradiated, biodynamic, fairtrade tofu. What makes Byron perfect for your first nudist beach experience is that it’s one of the most laid-back places on the planet. Which is why I soon found myself mingling with 50 or so other butt-naked strangers on the pristine white sands of Tyagarah (rhymes with Viagra) beach at Byron Bay.But each lazy afternoon we took the ten-minute ride on the solar train into town for exquisite fine dining. Then, just to be really kinky, I fantasised about other people putting their clothes back on as well.
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