Rude Stories

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The following day, he went on facebook and made a number of very cruel personal comments about me, and then when I rang him in tears to tell him to take it down and that he should apologise for the mess he'd made of the kitchen (which I'd had to clean up) he recorded the conversation, uploaded it to youtube and then made great efforts to distribute it on reddit and across facebook. No idea why his embarrassment at being a drunken a** evolved into being a bully, but it's been 10 years and I still avoid him if I bump into him in the street. Psycho creep. It's kind of a happy ending though, stupidity saved the day and the boy now has the vaccinations he should despite his insane father. I’ve had partners just shut that down and say its not their thing (I’d never try to be pushy about this kind of thing) and others who’d be up for dabbling. With my wife, as we have been together for 10 years, it has been something that is “there” for ages. If it makes you feel any better, I once had a retail customer throw a penny at my face while I wasn’t looking and scream “GIMME ANOTHER PENNY! THIS ONE’S DIRTY!” 9. Dirtbag…

He was still going on about how stupid I was when I looked him right in the eyeball and said, with an ever so slight suggestion of irony,”How’s your sandwich?” Mr and Mrs Smith,” he said, “ I’m sure you’re exaggerating. I’m happy to review their behaviour for you but I’ll be surprised if your boys are any different to any other young kids.” All of my wild sex escapades were in the midst of my disease and not with my wife. For me, it all centred around being pursued and pursuing others, it was never about the sex itself.People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.” – Victoria Wood

Took the blindfold off midway to see that the other two women were her cousin and her best friend. I was then untied and allowed to continue on into a dominant role. I’m not proud of these experiences, some were good and fun, some I put myself into danger, and all in all I carry a lot of shame. The other mom and her kids left pretty much immediately, but when the others left, my bestie catches my eye and she has this huge Squints Palledorous smirk (The Sandlot) on her face like "Yeah! Mission accomplished!"I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. She has always been keen on the idea but sensibly wary about damaging a relationship. In the beginning it was “this is just a fantasy, we shouldn’t risk it”.

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. And that was cos I’d no small change for the window cleaner.” – Victoria Wood I know if I let myself succumb to my own desires, I get pulled into a spiralling circling of thoughts and actions that led me to make decisions that placed my wife’s health and my health in danger. TL; DR: Hope you enjoyed your French Dip with secret sauce. See you next Tuesday. 13. UGH. I can’t believe this lady… A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.I invited 6 people for Sunday brunch, including an acquaintance “K” who worked in my department. It seemed like a good opportunity to reciprocate and invitation she’d extended within the past few months (a big gathering at her house with her roommates….I stopped by for about an hour, had a delightful time amongst mostly strangers.)

They say one in ten people want a sex toy for Christmas, and that’s a lie, isn’t it? You open presents in front of your family! Who’s there going, ‘What have you got, Nan? A b**t plug? Same here!” – Russell Howard With so many brilliantly funny Horrid Henrystories out there, it's easy for children to get hooked. Now we have ideas about What to Read After Horrid Henry - and we want your thoughts too!My ex decided she wanted a four-way, promised me it was other women, and that all would be a surprise. It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.