Helping Your Child with Fears and Worries 2nd Edition: A self-help guide for parents

Product Information

The degree to which a young person worries appears out of context or disproportionate to the reason why they might be worrying. Episodes of anxiety might be more frequent or prolonged and cause the young person distress or might have some mild impact on their ability to cope with everyday life such as going to or coping at school, seeing friends or taking part in leisure activities. Examples might be: if you know a change, such as a house move, is coming up, prepare your child by talking to them about what is going to happen and why But she cautions language and mindset isn't enough. The ability to change takes action and it takes habit. She suggests parents encourage their children to take small chances and then encourage them when they make mistakes to keep trying and making an effort. Sometimes kids avoid things that feel new or challenging. But doing new things (that are safe and right for their age) helps kids grow. With each new challenge they can gain skills and confidence. Thoughts and beliefs are rigid and cannot be challenged or thought about from a different perspective (e.g., 100% belief that something bad will happen).

They might say, 'I don't really care. I feel like it's more dangerous to go in a plane,'" Jain says. A visit to a GP is a good place to start. If your child's anxiety is affecting their school life, it's a good idea to talk to their school as well. Ask what's on their minds. Help kids label what they think and feel. They might not always have a lot to say. And they might not always want to talk about what's on their minds. But let kids know you're open to listening and talking any time.

How to help an anxious child

practise simple relaxation techniques with your child, such as taking 3 deep, slow breaths, breathing in for a count of 3 and out for 3. Children who have had a distressing or traumatic experience, such as a car accident or house fire, may have anxiety afterwards. Worry isn't all bad. It can be helpful as long as it doesn't last too long, become too intense, or happen too often. Depending on the context and/ or the origins of the anxiety being experienced, other services may be helpful. There may be a role for other services such as Children’s Services or other statutory or voluntary organisations that can support if there are clear triggers for anxiety e.g., abuse, domestic violence, bullying, being a young carer etc. Jain tells children to think about their values: What's important to them? What values does their family live by? She says children can then start to "reconnect with a voice that was the loudest thing in your life when they came into the world."

Your child's terrified, hiding in a corner under the blanket. Sound familiar? What are they scared of? A spider? A monster under the bed? Or, the thought that you might give them broccoli again?!Once you realize that a thought doesn't have power over you and that you can literally just observe it and let it pass, you then decide which thoughts you wish to choose to react to," Tsabary says.

Help them practice. When possible, help kids break a new thing into small steps. Let them practice one step at a time as they build toward their goal. Celebrate each success. First and foremost, it's important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries. Reassure them and show them you understand how they feel. Parenting: Difficult Conversations Is It OK To Lie About Santa And The Tooth Fairy? Help them assess risk Worry is a caution signal. It's a natural response to a big event, change, or challenge. Worry is a way of thinking and feeling ahead: "Am I ready for this? What's going to happen? Is it safe to go ahead? What do I need to do to get ready? How will I do it? What if I feel nervous?" If you go into any school at exam time, all the children will be anxious, but some may be so anxious that they do not manage to get to school that morning.Thinking through the part they worry about — calmly and with support from parents — can help kids get ready for what's ahead. When kids feel prepared, they can focus on the part they're looking forward to. How Adults Can Help So if you are actually going to cultivate a growth mindset in your child where they feel like they can do anything that they put their mind to, the only way...is for them to begin to act upon their belief system," says Jain. She says teaching them how to interpret challenges is a starting point for growth. Encourage them to listen to their inner voice