ART OF SHIBARI SEX BONDAGE FOR BEGINNERS: Everything about the Japanese sex bondage, kinbuki or shibari

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A major misconception about Shibari, and other forms of bondage, is that it's painful. That's just not true, according to Richardson. "In general, it doesn't hurt, it might be a little uncomfortable," she says. The idea that you'll get bruises or any types of injuries from Shibari? Also "100 percent not true." Thorough communication about wants, desires, boundaries and what you’re looking to get out of Shibari with any potential partners are also crucial before, during and after every Shibari session. In reality, the BDSM community centres play of any kind around consent, respect and communication. And that’s especially true with Shibari. What is Shibari? For people who don’t buy into those problematic narratives today, they can enjoy Shibari as part of their own variation of kinky bondage play," she assures. "Is Shibari a spiritual practice in Japan? No. Might some Shibari lovers in Japan and the rest of the world find moments of emotional catharsis in Shibari? Sure. Do some of these folks make it their own form of spiritual exploration? Yes." But she stresses that this isn’t unique to Shibari. It’s been so for people who enjoy other forms of kink, such as leather bondage, flogging, ordeal play, and dominance and submission — to name a few. If you are feeling lazy after a busy session, just tie a massage wand somewhere interesting and let them get on with it.

This sex practice can be enjoyed by all genders, body types, and sexual orientations, and it’s basically just a really great way to bring healthy communication, trust, and spice into your bedroom game—no matter how kinky you are on the BDSM test. Shibari also includes the intimacy of touch all over. "When ropes go on the body, remember ropes cannot move without somebody’s hands moving," notes Midori. "So it's not just the ropes going on the body, it's somebody touching on you a lot." Shibari or Shibaru are forms of the Japanese word to tie, according to Midori. Similarly, Kinbaku essentially means "really tight bondage" and can be used interchangeably. "It is childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys," she adds. Marika Leila Roux, co-founder and creative director of Shibari Study, who offer Shibari classes, says "Shibari is a way of communicating through rope and that makes it magical. It’s not just about memorising certain patterns or knots; instead, shibari allows you to use things like how you handle your rope and different ways of using speed, tension and tempo to create different sensations and even emotions for your partner (or yourself)." She says that using rope in a way that’s playful, sensual, tender and a little challenging can help us examine our needs, desires and intentions as well as those of our partners. How do I get started with Shibari? Shibari includes a top (someone who is tying the ropes) and bottom (someone who is being tied up). Rigger refers to “someone tying bondage in a professional context,” according to Midori. While beginners can do floor tie on the literal floor or on a bed, more advanced Shibari may include suspension and lifting someone off the floor using the ropes.Shibari, just like most bondage, is all about control and communication. Both partners are playing with the control dynamics and talking through each step with only rope as a prop. Shibari is meant to encourage feelings of "empowerment on both sides," says Richardson. It's also scripted and planned out, so both partners openly communicate about what's happening and what they're going to do. A room of people in leggings and t-shirts giggling, laughing, being intense, being caring with each other – and eating a lot of cake! Shibari, sometimes called Japanese rope bondage or "kinbaku" is a modern form of rope bondage which originated in Japan. The term "shibari" means "tying" and "kinbaku" means "tight binding." The two are used interchangeably, and refer to the same type of play. Put simply, Shibari involves tying someone up with ropes. Sometimes this involves sex, with couples tying each other into certain positions and sometimes the fun is just about the tying itself. But historically, it’s been used as a form of meditation, relaxation, and trust-building practice between two people. I love the beauty of it and how the women look so feminine, but people get into shibari for millions of different reasons. The experience isn't limited to the tying up portion of Shibari, either. "It’s so over overlooked," says Midori. "Unwrapping the rope is extremely sexy and sensual! Take your time and savor that, as that’s often when the skin and body is really awake to sensuality." How can I try Shibari?

Sydona adds, “Shibari is a tool to learn about your partner’s body, to build trust between you and your partner, and to discover new and exciting intimacy.” Where can I learn more about Shibari? When I moved south I found there was a gap in the local area so I gathered my courage and set up South Coast Shibari. Ultimately, Shibari is about consensually tying each other up for fun and sexual pleasure. "It shouldn’t be intimidating or aggravating," she says. And while rope bondage is used commonly in BDSM practices anyway, “shibari stands out for its striking visual aesthetic and emphasis on the emotional and psychological connection between the participants,” says Ryan. How should you and your partner start if you’re interested in trying shibari?

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Learn how to tie a “single-column tie” (like a Somerville Bowline) because that’s the foundation of the practice, suggests Ryan. Here’s a video tutorial. She also adds that the social media side of Shibari can purposely make Shibari ropes look overly complex, but if it suits you, Shibari beginners are welcome to tie whatever ropes they can manage, and giggle their way through the process. It doesn’t have to be a serious situation. "You don’t have to study and master complex forms that might not even be healthy for you or your partner’s body. A few basic ties and maybe a simple body harness [which you can learn from coaches online or in a beginner’s Shibari class] is fine, good, and hot for most people."