Concerning My Daughter

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The mother’s fear and antipathy are exacerbated by the fact that she believes her daughter refuses to live a “normal life,” with a husband and children. The mother cannot accept that her daughter’s life partner is a woman. It is horrifying to her and we see her horror played out in her body. This comes from the mother’s ingrained inability to see Green’s relationship with her partner Lane as the foundation of her daughter’s family, and by extension, the mother’s own family—and, indeed her desired support in old age. The mother does not want anyone—her neighbors, coworkers, church group—to know about Green because she believes it is shameful and the shame will reflect on herself. The story is told from the perspective of a middle-aged woman, a widowed careworker and mother to Green, who is now in her thirties. When Green asks her to rent out a room to her, she reluctantly obliges and is horrified to discover that Green will be joined by her long-term girlfriend, Lane. The mother wants her daughter to be happy, but her vision of contentment does not align with Green’s. The narrator longs for Green to lead a ‘normal’, expected, life: husband, children, a house. But here she is in her thirties and living with her. Worst, she is 'unapologetically' and 'unabashedly' gay, and has no intention of hiding her relationship from the prying eyes of others. In fact, Green is fighting for lgbtq+ rights, protesting the discrimination and unfair dismissal faced by members of her community at the university where she was employed at. But when Green turns up with her long-term girlfriend in tow, her mother is enraged and unwilling to welcome their relationship into her home. Having centered her life on her husband and child, her daughter’s definition of family is not one she can accept. Green’s involvement in a campus protest against unfair dismissals of gay colleagues throws her into deeper shambles. A Korean elder-care worker navigates a troubled relationship with her gay daughter and the expectations of her workplace in this challenging novella.

Concerning My Daughter by Kim Hye-Jin | Goodreads

First published in South Korea in 2017 as 딸에 대하여 ("About My Daughter"), Kim Hye-jin’s award-winning novel’s translated here by Jamie Chang. Kim excavates the complexities of a mother and daughter's relationship in her excellent debut...Kim's compassionate portrayal of the narrator's contradictions and ever-changing feelings makes her project captivating and moving. Readers will be grateful to discover this new author." - Publishers Weekly (starred review) Her daughter’s involvement in a case of unfair dismissal involving gay colleagues from the university where she works is similarly strange to her.

La narradora y protagonista de “Sobre mi hija” es una mujer viuda que ya ha pasado la barrera de los sesenta y que se gana la vida trabajando en una residencia de ancianos. Allí cuida de Jen, una mujer famosa por luchar por los derechos de los demás en el pasado, y que ahora que la enfermedad la ha atrapado y sufre demencia, se halla sola, únicamente cuidada por esta otra mujer. Por otro lado, la narradora nos habla de su hija, de la falta de entendimiento entre ambas y de la “amiga especial” que desearía que nunca hubiera conocido, cuya existencia trata de ignorar lo máximo posible. Sin embargo, por cosas de la vida, acabarán viviendo las tres bajo el mismo techo, y el conflicto no tardará en aparecer.

Concerning My Daughter — Restless Books Concerning My Daughter — Restless Books

I had no idea what to expect from this book, but it was so beautifully done and really made me contemplate several things. The writing (or translation should I say) was beautiful and in a style that I personally really connect and engage with. El retrato que mi Kim Hye-jin hace de su protagonista, de la hija de esta y del choque que ambas tienen, transmite verdad por todas partes. Rara vez me pasa que empatice tantísimo con personajes que defienden ideales anticuados o que tienen pensamientos o comentarios intolerantes tan brutales como los que muestra la protagonista, y que pese a todo, sea imposible sentir rechazo hacia ella, y que como lector estés deseando que aprenda, que comprenda. Casi como si quisieras que te comprendiera a ti mismo. Es increíble lo bien construida que está la protagonista. Pese a que tiene muchos temas principales, que ahora tocaré, creo que el más importante es el que hace relación a la homofobia de la madre hacia la hija, y creo que es el tema que más destaca, no porque sea el único central, porque lo son varios, sino porque es el único que se toca de manera diferente. Mientras que temas como el desprecio a las personas de cierta edad o el esclavitud laboral reciben una crítica directa a través de su protagonista, de sus reflexiones y sus quejas, la homofobia es criticada a través de la intolerancia e ignorancia de ella misma, fruto de su educación y de una cultura que enseña a vivir dando más importancia a la opinión social, que a la felicidad propia o de los seres queridos. Por eso choca la cantidad de comentarios horribles que la madre suelta sobre su hija, sobre su nuera o sobre la homosexualidad en general, pero la autora sabe crear bien ese personaje, para que el lector, aún horrorizándose de lo que piensa, pueda entender su circunstancia e ir asistiendo poco a poco al avance y a la apertura de su mente. No de forma tan rápida como nos gustaría y llena de contradicciones, eso sí, pero demostrando perfectamente la confusión mental por la que está pasando la madre. As Green continues her protests, the mother makes a mad plan to rescue Jen from the distant dementia center, to which she has been discarded. Lane becomes a crucial part of the plan, stepping in for Green at the last minute. Once Jen is rescued to the mother’s house, Lane and the mother care for Jen until Jen’s death. The novel then comes full circle as the mother, Green, and Lane carry out Jen’s funeral. Green takes on the role of chief mourner, usually carried out by a male member of a family. The coming together of the three women to see Jen through her life’s final rites symbolizes their metamorphosis into family. The synopsis says: “Told in a brutally honest voice that at times simmers with impotent rage, Kim Hye-jin's novel taps into the complexities of mother-daughter dynamics, but also the systemic issues and obstacles that LGBTQ communities face in heteronormative societies. Kim Hye-jin lays bare our most universal fears on ageing, death, and isolation, to offer finally a paean to love in all its forms.”

Prize-winning Korean author Kim Hye-Jin’s debut confronts familial love, duty, mortality, and generational schism through the incendiary gaze of a tradition-bound mother faced with her daughter’s queer relationship. Archaeological Treasures of Uzbekistan: From Alexander the Great to the Kushan Empire” at James Simon Gallery, Berlin The compisition of the story is simple, but stringent and effective, and while knowing a thing or two about Korean society will certainly help, it would probably be to easy to dismiss what is portrayed here as a Korean problem (this is one of the connections to Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982): The marginalization of LGBTQ+ people and the elderly is real in many societies all over the world.

Concerning My Daughter – Kim Hye-jin | Full Stop Concerning My Daughter – Kim Hye-jin | Full Stop

Having centred her life on her husband and child, her daughter’s definition of family is not one she can accept. The narrator is a woman in her seventies, her daughter in her mid-30s. The narrator rents out the top floor of her modest home and her daughter, in needs of cash, suggests that the mother converts the tenants from paying monthly rent (월세) to the traditional Korean jeonse (전세) system where the tenant pays a large upfront deposit in lieu of rent, something the narrator is reluctant to do as the house is the only thing she has to show for all her many years of work, and she needs the rent to supplement her meagre income. Concerning My Daughter provides desperate narratives of its female characters. It’s the story of a mother and a daughter, but it goes beyond the relationship and is also ahead of our time. By accompanying the women’s journey overcoming pain and suffering in their lives, we will see our stereotypes broken in the end. The great power smashing our fixed old ideas! This book is filled with such energy.” And then, her only daughter, now in her thirties, has to move in with her, as she's broke and can't find a permanent job. She shares her room with her long-term partner, another woman.

The expectations and ambitions, possibilities and hopes concerning my daughter - they still remain and torment me no matter how hard I work to get rid of them. To be rid of them, how skeletal and empty do I have to be? Despite its short length Concerning my Daughter is by no means a breeze to read. It is a candid and stark study of a fraught mother-daughter relationship. In Concerning my Daughter Kim Hye-Jin examines generational differences, cultural conservatism, and the realities of being an lgbtq+ person living in a heteronormative and traditionalist society. And yet when the care home where she works insists that she lower her standard of care for an elderly dementia patient who has no family, who travelled the world as a successful diplomat, who chose not to have children, Green’s mother cannot accept it. Why should not having chosen a traditional life mean that your life is worth nothing at all? New Book Announcement: “The Inscription of Things: Writing and Materiality in Early Modern China” by Thomas Kelly

CONCERNING MY DAUGHTER | Kirkus Reviews CONCERNING MY DAUGHTER | Kirkus Reviews

Temelde çok düz şeyleri anlatsa da üzerine düşünülmesi gereken çok soru bırakıyor yazar Kim Hye Jin. Kızım Hakkında Her Şey’e başladığımda bir ebeveyn hikayesi okuyacağımı düşünmüştüm ama okudukça şunu gördüm: hepimiz her gün bir savaşın ortasına çekiliyoruz. Çalışıyoruz, koşturuyoruz üstelik sürekli izleniyoruz, eleştiriliyor ve yargılanıyoruz. Kızım Hakkında Her Şey’de de bu savaşlar var. Kızından beklentilerini topluma ve yargılarına göre şekillendiren bir anne ama bunun yanında şefkatini hiç bağı olmayan birine daha çok gösteren bir kadın.. When the daughter and her girlfriend move in with her due to monetary issues, conflicts arise, but while the mother first despises her daughter's activism for colleagues who got fired because of their homosexuality, she slowly sees that the humanist concerns that torture her in her job are not that different from what plagues her daughter: They both long for dignity. In the meal that opens the novel, the distance between Green and her mother is apparent and growing wider. At Jen’s funeral, as the three women—Green, Lane, and the mother—become family, the mother looks at the unappetizing funeral food, tastes it, and, significantly, finishes her entire bowl. She urges the girls to join her. Like the moment of communion earlier in the novel, this moment again reflects the Biblical last supper. But for the mother and her daughters, it is not the last supper, but a first. The mother will continue to struggle with Lane and Green’s relationship. She imagines that acceptance will take a miracle: “[M]aybe what lies ahead is a life of endless fights and tolerance. Will I be able to take such a life? Will I get through it?” At the very least, the mother now has the desire to understand and to accept. She has stepped into the midst of their lives. The narrator of this novel is a widowed woman in her late sixties who works as a carer in an old people's home, where she looks after a woman suffering with dementia. It's a hard job, both physically and emotionally. The narrator wonders how long she'll be able to do this exhausting work and fears ending up like most residents, who have no one to visit them and are just waiting to die.The contrast between speaking up and remaining silent is evident throughout the novel. Green speaks out against injustice while her mother prefers to keep quiet and not get involved in other people’s problems. Although their generational differences seem insurmountable, gradual change can be observed as they confront challenges at their workplaces. At the nursing home, cost-cutting measures loom, and the mother struggles to provide the level of care her elderly dementia patient deserves. At the university, with LGBTQ colleagues unfairly dismissed, Green joins the fight against their discriminatory practices. Although mother disagrees, as she takes in the scene at the protest, she reflects on her life and the passage of time. The novel raises questions about autonomy, justice and freedom—and the duty we owe to our loved ones.” Catherine Taylor, Irish Times An admirably nuanced portrait of prejudice . . . one that boldly takes on the daunting task of humanizing someone whose prejudice has made her cruel.